I intermittently see a few young people who call themselves Goth because they put on some fishnets or black nail polish and took a photo of themselves here on reddit...not exactly where I'd put the gate, but whatever. It's pretty clear they couldn't name a goth band to save their lives.

Except she didn't reject him, and he really didn't try to ruin her character. I'm not saying he shouldn't have done more, I'm saying the best he can do is give her space and time to process her own feelings, and then be blatantly, painfully honest, and get his other "friend" out of his life. There's nothing else to be done.

It's not gaslighting or manipulative to ask someone to reason out their emotional state when you're trying to apologize and have an honest conversation.

First, you need to sever all relation with your "friend" who thought it would be okay to spread this rumor to begin with. This person will never bring you anything but pain for their own amusement. You're not going to enjoy what they start saying about you later regarding this situation...ride it out and let the world slowly come to realize this person is a complete asshat.

Second, you need to give her some space...let emotions calm down around this entirely. After that come back with a clear and heartfelt apology explaining exactly what happened. You're probably going to have to admit you have had a crush on her for some time in order to explain why it came up between your friends in the first place.

If she is still convinced you helped spread it, just ask her why on earth you would do that...ask her to explain how that would benefit you or your friendship or your feelings for her. If she continues to really think so little of you that you would do something as absurd as that, then you need to walk away and realize that she wasn't worth having anyway, and while it hurts right now, she wouldn't have wound up being a good friend or partner for you in the long run regardless.

​

EDIT - adding just to clarify, she might not be interested in hearing your apology. If that's the case, it's on you to suck it up, respect her wishes to leave her alone, and take it as a learning experience to do better to people in the future. Sucks, but it's probably all you're going to get no matter what. She may need you to hear some things at some point, if that's the case, it'd be good to be an active listener and not try to interject your own opinions.