Exactly. I was gonna say MAGA hat.

He walked back his original comment because he knew you were upset... not because he felt differently. He still wants to bang other women and will do it with or without your permission. You can decide that an open relationship is acceptable, you can wait for him to cheat and then decide how to proceed, or you can end it now before he gets the chance.

But make no mistake: he will try to have sex outside the relationship whether you're on board with that or not. Whatever decision you make should be made with that knowledge at the forefront of your thoughts.

Precisely.

But that's not what you initially said. I parroted back your comment and only changed the roles so you could see how ridiculous it sounded. I'm glad your actual position is more nuanced.

Why should he accept that? In the end, it is his decision. If it means a lot to him, why shouldn't she want to refrain from doing that for him??

It's funny: I'm actually a wedding photographer and I enjoy weddings no matter if I'm working or just attending as a guest or participating as a groomsman (like I did this weekend for my sister!) However, attending so many weddings has had the effect of cementing my decision to not get married. Weddings are a lot of work, they're expensive, and they can be the cause of a lot of drama. Frankly, I don't blame your boyfriend one bit.

However, it's important to tease apart the different elements. There is the legal aspect of marriage and there is the religious and/or cultural and/or social aspect of the wedding. People treat them as a package, but they're not inherently bundled. You can go to the courthouse and get married in a few minutes for minimal cost with just a one or two witnesses. Conversely, you can have elaborate commitment ceremonies that legally mean nothing. Which one are you really mourning? Your post romanticizes all of the aspects of the wedding ceremony while your boyfriend seems concerned with the potential legal fallout of divorce. Both are fair opinions and there's actually potential for middle ground.

It sounds like getting legally married is simply out of the question, but maybe you can convey to your boyfriend that some of the social constructs of the wedding ceremony are important to you. Compromises are important in a relationship and he should be able to see that denying you everthing about marriage is just as unreasonable as if you demanded that he agree to a full-blown elaborate wedding. Start somewhere simple: can he buy you a ring? Can you pick out matching bands to both wear as an outward symbol of your commitment to each other? It seems like the most baseline request. You could also discuss having a small commitment ceremony with no paperwork. There are options between nothing at all and a huge, expensive, extravagant event with hundreds of guests.