I do all those things though, I've communicated all those things many times and we have an incredibly compatible sex life. It's just the disappointment on the occasions where I don't feel like having sex that are difficult for me. I'm very serious when I say if I was up for it 50 times a day, he would still be wanting it more.

The age gap is definitely a valid concern - my independence has definitely been threatening to him sometimes, I think he can be surprised by it due to my age but I had to grow up much faster than most. He can be immature in a lot of ways so we even each other out quite nicely. I don't feel like the issues we have are specifically due to our ages, if anything I think he's outgrown a lot of toxic behaviours from when he was younger and he's at a stage now where he can work on them by discussing them with me.

The hygiene factor is due to depression and he immediately suggested it himself as a contributing factor when I was getting infections. I haven't had an infection since, so he is capable of recognising when he needs to change something and he's been vigilant about it (he was never unclean or disgusting by any stretch of the imagination, now he just makes a point of cleaning up straight before every single time there will be any penetration)

I definitely won't move in until this is sorted out. I have a lease I can extent for another year if need be.

It isn't really a session, I'm talking about when we make out for like 10-20 seconds. I don't really have an explanation I suppose, it just takes me a bit longer to switch from "cute make out" mode to "let's get it on" mode. I just wish there could be some times where we'll make out on the sofa and can just leave it at that until we pick it back up later. For me I like when foreplay happens with intimacy throughout the day, but if he could, he would easily have sex every single time we make out

By start and stop, I mean if we start making out it always leads to sex because it turns him on a lot (it does for me too, but I need a bit more warm-up than he does) so often he's been frustrated because I'll be making out with him (which I LOVE but it's a turn off when there's an expectation for more), but then I might say no when he asks if I feel like having sex.

I completely get that lack of sex is frustrating - but, for two people who don't live together, is once a day/every two days really a "lack of sex"? I feel like we'd have MORE sex if this wasn't an issue