TIL that there is such thing as cavapoo!

I think he's feeling some stuff he doesn't know how to process, and it's making him retreat into his gaming more. You said he came from a bad situation, which tells me that he's used to retreating into the escapism when overwhelmed. And he's receptive when you say something, which tells me he knows something is off. He may be used to only having personal space when gaming, and not knowing how to navigate living with someone else like this. Have you asked him if his therapist has any thoughts on it? He may need to bring it up, or invite you in for a session to talk about it. It also is okay to need to change meds if they stop working they way they need to, and in fact is very common at your age because of brain changes. I don't think this is a lost cause situation, and he can learn how to process things in a healthier way. Maybe he doesn't even know why he's doing it, what he's getting out of it, and is frustrated he can't figure it out to stop. My heart goes out to you, crying in loneliness is definitely the time to take it seriously. I hope he understands how much this is affecting you. He may need less together time than you do, from independent habits, and not be clear about much you feel isolated from him and miss him. Addiction is a disease. It doesn't make him a bad person. If you feel he's trying but struggling, I believe you. Some habits are really hard to unlearn and break, but it has to start somewhere. May I ask if you also are in therapy? It's important to be able to divest yourself of caretaking and focus on you sometimes. And a third party whose job is to get to know and understand what's going on with you may be beneficial.

I have nothing polite to say about this situation and am trying real hard not to say something so incendiary it's ban-worthy. It sounds like this msn does not respect you or your time or work, on any issue, and is telling you that. If he wants custody he should try proving he can handle any amount of responsible interaction. I'd suggest taking notes and recording your attempts to get him following through. Tell him you are doing so but do not allow him any access to your records. This will be important for the court case. Perhaps email copies to your sister. If he is not afraid of court, take him to civil court and tell a jury he would rather pay a stranger to take care of his kids than support their mother. He is counting on you feeling too intimidated to follow through on any threats, but you know you deserve better than being used for free labor and deprived of your independence and being treated this way.