active denial system can do very odd things to a person too. brain is the seat of consciousness, no doubt. but sir, if you still eat krispy kreme or work in a cubicle, kindly hop off my dick in regards to touching grass

As I write this Im staying at a freedom camp surrounded by white vans. I know and trust they are fellow campers having cups of tea or settling for bed. As I stated in the disclaimer, theres a difference between ongoing paranoia or schizophrenia vs. recognising an isolated incident

while im sure family engagement and support would be a positive thing in most psych cases, you cant cast the same die for everyone.

kow-towing to the will of my parents in this case was far more depressing than not: I moved back into a hoarder house with moral high-horsers on a dose of medication so heavy I could barely get out of bed.

I much prefer an esoteric existence where I preach how big pharma was originally created to boost rockerfeller petroleum assets, and openly proclaim to know how an x ray feels.

hey careful zucchinis. I left out a ton of background info for the sake of privacy, but there is obviously more context.

I absolutely have been hurt and alienated from the people I care about, because it was a hurtful and alienating experience.

Already, people sending links to potential technology this was, with potentials not as invasive as I originally thought, has eased my anxiety x10.

I am a pretty asf young lady, if I wanted meth I would be throwing it back in a trap den, not going near some dodge alleyway tyvm.

but seriously I work 40+ hours a week doing agri work with stringent employer requirements, if I wanted to get high on one of the most lethal and stigmatised substances out there I probs wouldnt be getting promoted at this job or joking about drug use publicly.

I'm disappointed this comment section is less microwave puns and more people urging me to seek serious mental help. like babes, thankyou for stating the obvious.

you're right. this has all been a complicated hack job to plug my soundcloud. @sugarandvelvet

str8 up thankyou.

ok, I appreciate the insight thankyou. even if it wasnt ionizing radiation, there was absolutely the van, and my perceptual awareness got incredibly fucked up, fuzzy and distorted without ingesting any substances that I am aware of . It may have been an electric current or similar, I genuinely dont know. This is part of posting this here, if people who are actually familiar with that sort of tech may help to place parameters on what I experienced.

hey! If you specify which part reads as particularly ficticious , maybe I can explain myself in more detail . zzz

bruv 🤣

thats hilarious and I can absolutely appreciate how it would read that way. altered the title to suit as well.

but seriously even if this appears unbelievable I figure if the right person comes across this post to give me some actually solid advice it will be worth it. :)

yeah no I absolutely believe it did. I have recieved professional help, including a heavy dose of antipsychotics for three months, hasn't changed my internal stance on this matter whatsoever.

kinda the point of this post jives

Yeah, this retelling is an abridged, probably more emotive than scientific, explanation what was going through my head at the time.

I've been drunk/ high before and this didnt feel like either of those things.

I know it sounds unbelievable, it sucks having cocktails with girlfriends how intensely my bad dating stories trump theirs