skeptic_slothtopus
skeptic_slothtopus t1_j1w4ohi wrote
Reply to TIFU by ignoring my gut instinct. by cherrytwizzler88
Don't be too hard on yourself, OP, so many people have at least one terrible, unequal, traumatizing relationship in their lives. I'm just about to get out of my own, and have already done a lot of the legwork. Learn from your mistakes, and watch out for red flags in the future. You know more now than you did before you met him, so use it to protect yourself.
You did nothing wrong, OP. Abusive people know how to manipulate, or they wouldn't be nearly so good at what they do. If you haven't read Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That" I would highly suggest it. If you want a copy, DM and I'll get you a link to a free download.
skeptic_slothtopus t1_iya68he wrote
Reply to LPT request: Self Harm by AndyFromBoysClub
Be kind and nonjudgmental. Have you done any research on self harm? Do you understand why the majority of people do it? Do some research. Keywords would be "Self-Harm in Adults/Teens" (I don't know how old you guys are, so use whichever applies).
Realize that his self-harm has nothing to do with you. If you bring it up, be prepared for him to react negatively. If you are kind, he should come around after he realizes that this isn't an attack.
If you talk to him let him know that you love him no matter what and that you want to support him. Make it clear that you are not angry or upset, and that you understand that this is both a coping mechanism and an actual addiction (self-harm such as cutting releases endorphins, the body starts to crave that in times of stress).
You should never take away one coping method without replacing it with something else. Urge him to seak mental health treatment. If he will open up, ask him what kinds of feelings trigger the need to self-harm. If it's anxiety, look into the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Different triggers are going to require different types of coping mechanisms.
I can not stress to you strongly enough that they should go to a mental health professional. They are obviously suffering in some way, and the right person can help to heal that. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right therapist/psychologist/etc., but it's absolutely worth it.
Good luck OP, reach out if you have any questions.
skeptic_slothtopus t1_iy9ic82 wrote
Is brown tabby the Tom?
skeptic_slothtopus t1_iy9i6dk wrote
Reply to TIFU by lying about my age by [deleted]
Please tell a trusted adult. You are too young to handle this situation on your own and it is not your fault. He is preying on your youth and naivete. You need to tell the whole story, that he knew who your mom was without you telling him, that you think the beach incident was planned. Please protect yourself OP
skeptic_slothtopus t1_ix00von wrote
Reply to TIFU by eating out by zeldamuffin
Maybe not the place or the time, but I hope for everyone's sake that they decide to just get over it.
skeptic_slothtopus t1_ivuce1v wrote
Reply to comment by knopflerpettydylan in TIFU by calling a hospital code by justrightkinda
SEVENTEEN? Oh god, I'd be seething. I went through two seasons of a show that were decent, then it turned into the most OVER the top soap type thing. I was in shock. The whiplash nearly killed me π
skeptic_slothtopus t1_ivsloqf wrote
Reply to comment by kynthrus in TIFU by calling a hospital code by justrightkinda
I never watched enough of that to confirm π but if the romance and drama come first and character realism and developement last.. probably.
skeptic_slothtopus t1_ivsk1vt wrote
Reply to comment by kynthrus in TIFU by calling a hospital code by justrightkinda
I loved the first season and enjoyed the next few as they came out... But it never ended and it just kept getting more convoluted, so I decided that was enough of that.
skeptic_slothtopus t1_j20hz4m wrote
Reply to TIL about Nehebkau, the ancient Egyptian snake god. Itβs appearance is that of a big snake with feet. by barely_engineered
Some of the pictures of Nehebkau are so funny: giant snake, tiny set of human legs underneath.