Oh boy. OP when a girl tells you she doesn’t see you as a potential romantic partner then believe her even if you think she might not mean it. I think Becky genuinely only saw you as a friend back then and now as well. I think she allowed you to touch her chest out of fear you may choose to force more to happen if she says no, it’s a defence mechanism. From what I’m reading you seem to really need an outlet to talk about your feelings and experiences aka therapy (and I mean this nicely of course- i myself am in therapy) because the way you behave and react is not healthy. You are here for advice and this is my advice to you: Meet with a therapist and work on yourself and the therapist will definitely help you find a way to make it up to Becky. Definitely consider limiting your alcohol intake, it’s not safe to drink so much. Good luck op, you don’t seem like a bad dude but if you don’t choose to work on yourself and improve then something like this could potentially happen again (maybe even worse).

What did u do for the friendship to end the first time?