Jeez in what time are you living? The sixties? Woman are financially independent for ages now and even make more at a younger age then man. Your idea of society might be what you heard from celebrities drama or of women after marriage, when they decide to work less after having a kid. It's still very commen as a women to be pressured to work less than the husband to take care of the kids, which has been proven in many studies that its killing for salary growth

Sounds like you are definitely in a loving relationship then, you two could maybe talk about love language. The way that you feel loved and the way you show your love to him and visa versa. Either way I think you can figure that out as the foundation of your relationship sounds pretty solid :)

Another tip could be that you can write down what you want to hear from him? That he is looking for someone in his life that he might spend the rest of his life with. Not yet, but let him say it out loud that it's just the marriage part he doesn't like. He probably does see you as a potential life partner, even though you're both not ready to decide that.

And overthinking doesn't have to bad! Makes you a critical thinker, less likely of doing something impulsive. Shows you're smart too.

Tbh I felt like moving in together had so much more impact on my day to day live than marriage. Do you expect anything to change after a wesding? For me it definitely didn't, and that's awesome and just the way we wanted it. Because the relationship should be good enough for the rest of your life to begin with. Just saying it out loud to a lot of people you know isn't meant for everyone. I never liked attention in my life and I would shit my pants at the idea of a wedding.

It sounds like you are afraid that he isn't as committed as you are. Just because he doesn't like the idea of a wedding doesn't mean hes not committed though. Take a step back, and try to analyse what you feel.

Is it the fear of his commitment? Is the rest of the relationship crumbling down or still strong? Do you want to marry him, or do you mostly want to get married?

I hope you'll figure it out! Maybe he's ready to spend the rest of his life with you, he just doesn't show it the same way as you!

I know it was his coping but don't feel guilty over pressuring him so hard. You love him and didn't want him to be unhealthy and die earlier than necessary. I hope in the end he actually quit

Than what's this doing on tifu?? It worked out anyway. :D Most things won't work out how you expected it but glad you guys found eachother

That's awesome I'm glad you both could talk about that and are comfortable with it! This also proves that friendship sometimes just is friendship even between man and women. And even if you end up dating in case feelings in the future might change, the communication between you two will be top notch