photoshopper42
photoshopper42 t1_iv27kkt wrote
Reply to [WP] A witch cursed you to be immortal, but it turns out she's also immortal and just wanted a friend. by NotUrDinner
The first 100 years were the worst. This was the era where I had to watch all of my friends and family die. It was not fun at all, but at least I never had kids. I can't imagine how hard that would have been. I suppose I still can have kids now, but why would I? I know what will end up happening. I always use a condom now, no matter what. Parents, you want to make sure your kids are having safe sex? Tell them that if they end up pregnant or getting a girl pregnant, they will have to watch their child die. That will scare them into wearing every condom in the world.
It wasn't until about 500 years until I finally decided to talk to the witch again. I was still kinda upset, but enough time has passed where I figured I should let the past be the past. Was I going to just stay angry at her forever? Literally, forever? I didn't want that hate weighing on my heart. I decided to forgive. And she seemed to be remorseful. It is lonely to be immortal, as I have spent the last half a century realizing.
We get together and chat. She baked a pie. It is raspberry which I hate, but I keep it to myself. She is making an effort to apologize. She tells me how she has been alive for about 4700 years. The hardships of being a witch. Brooms just aren't what they used to be. She misses pointy hats which have gone out of style. Also, she is the last of her kind. Apparently a small meteor smashed into the earth and wiped out all the witches out. Either that or they evolved into birds. She doesn't remember.
I'm finally about to leave when I notice a shelf of potions. One of them is labeled "Immortality Antidote." I stare at it. And as I stare at it, I can feel her staring at me. I look over at her, fury behind my eyes. She looks back at me scared. Worried. Caught.
I grab it as she begs me to stop. She warns me that it won't do what I think it will. It is a fate worse than the immortality that she has already cursed me with. I don't care. I'm sick of living forever. Music has gotten so bad. There are like 10,000 Marvel movies. Enough! I'm done. I pop open the cork and chug the potion.
A meteor hits the earth and crashes into me. Either that or I turn into a bird. I don't remember.
photoshopper42 t1_iuev3wy wrote
Reply to [WP] You are a barista in a 24 hour coffee shop. Every night at 3:33am a demon appears for the Dark Lord's latte. by WarturtleWitch
I look at the clock, and right on cue, he appears in front of me with his ridiculous little horns on his head. I'm already putting his order into the register before he says-
"One large coffee. Black"
Black. So cliché. Heaven forbid the Dark Lord orders anything other than a plain black coffee. No milk or sugar for this guy.
He hands me some cash, I always think that is funny. A demon giving me money for the coffee. As if I would refuse him service if he decided not to pay me. Its good to know that there is some sense of morality in hell.
As I put the cash in the register and give him his change, I wonder how he even has cash. Is there capitalism in hell. Is this demon on payroll. Does he have to file an expense report or is this taken out of a petty cash fund? Or is this demon just conjuring money out of air, causing further inflation to our economy. Damn... I gotta stop taking the night shift. My mind is going wild from the lack of sleep.
I prepare his plain black coffee. At least it is not complicated. I can just cruise. In the corner of my eye I can see the demon staring at me. I would say that this behavior creeps me out, but its a demon. Their whole thing is creeping people out. And somehow knowing that is comforting. Like he is just doing what demons do.
The coffee is finally done. It only took a minute, but 3:33 is always the longest minute of the night. Somehow I don't feel like that is just psychological. I feel like the demon is distorting time somehow. I put the coffee on the counter and yell out,
"Tim!"
The demon's name is Tim. Yup.
He takes the coffee and poofs into a puff of smoke. I pull out my phone and start browsing Instagram. Finally, at least the worst of my night is over.
"Excuse me! Can I order a latte?! What is taking so long? I want service now!"
Of fuck, I spoke too soon. Karen is here. Now I miss the demon.
photoshopper42 t1_iu814fs wrote
Reply to [WP] You’ve just moved into your dream home in an idyllic, quiet suburb. As you settle into this new life you’ve been dying to build for yourself you finally feel like things might turn out okay. And then, one morning you wake to find a door that shouldn’t be there… by chumett
I stare at the door. I don't know how long I have been standing here, but my feet are sore. It's true that I've only been living here for a week, so maybe there is a chance that I somehow just missed this door and never noticed it, but I don't think so. especially because it is right in the middle of the living room.
I walk around it, circling it like a predator circling a prey. It is the same on both sides. Honestly, as boring as a door could possibly be. White. Gold coloured doorknob. The cheapest door that you could buy if you are playing The Sims and just moved in your first family.
I finally decide. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna open the door. I put my bowl down on the counter. I honestly don't know why I was still holding it. My milk and cereal splattered all over the floor anyway when I first saw the door in my living room. I'll clean it up later.
My heart pounds in my chest, I can feel it banging against my ribcage like a lion. I rub my hands together and open the door. Nothing. I just see my living room on the other side. Anti-climactic. But what if... I circle around to the other side. Again I open the door.
This time I see a mirror. I see myself in the doorway opening the door. A little more interesting but still not extraordinary by any means. But wait... on the floor in the mirror, I see the cereal that I spilled. But the cereal behind me is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And what I see in the 'mirror' is Froot Loops. I stare at myself. I realize what is happening. I can tell he realizes it too. This is not a mirror at all. This is a portal into a parallel universe!
I slam the door closed! I sit back against it and slide down to the floor, covered in sweat. I vow never to open this door again. I parallel dimension where I eat Froot Loops is something I never want to be a part of. There can only be evil behind that door. And for it to happen just days before Halloween, I am sure I will not be sleeping tonight.
photoshopper42 t1_iv51k7k wrote
Reply to comment by Spriggan_42 in [WP] A witch cursed you to be immortal, but it turns out she's also immortal and just wanted a friend. by NotUrDinner
Wow, that's so nice! Thank you!