opinionsarelikeahs

opinionsarelikeahs t1_j2d2ogm wrote

But he isn't ok with it clearly , and why do you need to go through each others phones ? You don't trust him . He is so uncomfortable with your behaviour that he needs to delete things because you are being controlling and going through his phone and it's clearly not an occasional thing

It's not healthy , and it's not going to fly in future relationships . If you want to be happy you need to start with why you feel this obsessive need to be in someone's private life , because I promise you future partners will see a massive red flag waving

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opinionsarelikeahs t1_j2d22bx wrote

Here's advice - he has already expressed to you that he doesn't agree with your boundaries because he is still doing it . You ARE policing his behaviour because you are checking up on what he is doing , and then kicking off because you don't agree with it

This relationship is not based in trust - you don't trust him so you are regularly invading his privacy , and it's not healthy . He doesn't want to adhere to your boundaries or he would have done so , not continued and tried to hide it from you

Just as an FYI for the future , a lot of people are not going to be happy with your obsessive checking of their phones for behaviours . Freedom to pick up a phone and Google it is not the same as going through someone's phone trying to catch them out , and a lot of people have a basic expectation of privacy . Not every aspect of someone's life , partner or not , is supposed to be completely accessible to you at all times , people are allowed to have thoughts , conversations and desires that are nothing to do with you , romantic partner or not . You sound controlling , and untrusting , and if you want to have a happy relationship in the future you need to accept that you cannot control people. If they are going to cheat on you , smothering them and giving them no privacy is not going to stop that , it's simply going to make them even less desirous of being loyal because frankly its exhausting living under surveillance

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