Texas is a community property state. So all debts incurred during the marriage belong to both spouses. You both would have to file together.

Upside is Texas has some of the best protections from creditors. As you noted your homestead exemption is unlimited. You can each exempt your vehicles and combined can protect up to 100k in crs and other assets. Your income cannot be garnished for consumer/medical debts.

So even absent filing for bankruptcy the only thing at risk would be large amounts of money sitting in a bank account that could be levied after a creditor would sue you and win a judgement against you.

You do need to really prioritize your budget. You should never be paying a cent toward credit cards or unsecured loans before ensuring your mortgage is fully paid.

This is all dependent on your state whether or not you can file alone or must file jointly(community property states normally force joint filing). Your state laws would also dictate how much home equity is exempt; some states have unlimited homestead protections while in others creditors can go after all but 15-25k of your homes value.

With 80k of debt you should get a consultation with a local lawyer who can tell you the specifics for your state.

You borrow $10k from your 401k and what exactly do you believe occurs?

$10k is subtracted from your pre-tax dollar 401k balance and $10k in post-tax dollars get deposited in your bank account. Pre-tax dollars have been converted to post-tax dollars without a taxable event occurring (assuming the loan is paid back in full and doesn't become an early distribution).

You repay that loan with an equal $10k amount of post-tax dollars plus interest.

No double taxation on the principal because you received post-tax dollars and repaid post-tax dollars.

You only pay taxes twice on the interest portion. There is no double taxation on the principal of a 401k loan. You are missing that the loan distribution itself converts pre-tax to post tax so the dollars you take out equal the dollars you repay plus a little interest.

Now the interest amount would be post tax dollars that are later taxed again whenever the money is eventually withdrawn. That is a tiny disadvantage since one is paying interest to themselves.