Funny how OP decided to be helpful and provide an alternative timestamp (the one in parenthesis), but as a true American, chose another US/Canada-specific time zone instead of something like UTC :)

You too were a British colony?

Hong Kong was still a British colony back in my early teens

You know you're old when you can say "twenty years ago when I was still in high school.."

Now make it look like a Teletext page

P.S. My Google Keyboard's dictionary seemingly knows the word 'Teletext', which is fascinating

Hold on to the kit for some ten years and don't open it. The unopened kit will be worth much more than the coins inside it alone

This boomer joke can be easily turned into a modern one. Just add this line:
"I want to play every single game in my Steam library"

You're probably correct. There's no mention of DORA or anything even remotely related to it, as well as no explanation about why those people are "low performers"