This. Codependency refers to the person who is reliant on being depended upon, not the person who is dependent.
It’s classically seen in family and partners of people with drug or alcohol problems. If someone spends a lot of time complaining about their partner’s drinking, for example, but still puts them in situations where they’d be tempted to drink/shields them from significant consequences/pushes - consciously or otherwise - on triggers for drinking, etc, and then gets a certain amount of fulfilment out of being the one who can save the day, retrieve the lost car, fix the broken bag, rearrange the missed appointment, smooth over the disagreements, eyeroll ‘oh well you know what they’re like, they’d be helpless without me!’…
mibbling t1_je9b0dz wrote
Reply to comment by LorenzoStomp in ELI5: What is codependency? Why is it unhealthy? by [deleted]
This. Codependency refers to the person who is reliant on being depended upon, not the person who is dependent.
It’s classically seen in family and partners of people with drug or alcohol problems. If someone spends a lot of time complaining about their partner’s drinking, for example, but still puts them in situations where they’d be tempted to drink/shields them from significant consequences/pushes - consciously or otherwise - on triggers for drinking, etc, and then gets a certain amount of fulfilment out of being the one who can save the day, retrieve the lost car, fix the broken bag, rearrange the missed appointment, smooth over the disagreements, eyeroll ‘oh well you know what they’re like, they’d be helpless without me!’…
That’s codependency.