Lmao no it's not but I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand nuance and healthy relationships based on your previous comments. Have a nice life :)

That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.

>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating

Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship.

I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal.

I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.

Tbh this sounds kind of toxic, especially in the OPs case where it was an honest mistake, they felt incredibly bad about it, were honest and upfront about what happened, and are genuinely trying to fix things.

Maybe in your wife's case its a little harder to forgive right away seeing as its not exactly a spur of the moment action fueled by emotions. Its one thing to have the hurt/anger/frustration to last a while, but to not forgive them within like, 24 hours assuming you guys talked openly and dealt with the feelings involved? Seems messed up.

Man I don't have autism and I'm still shocked as to why the hell people are downvoting all of the comments from ND people. Its not like any one of the ND comments is worded in an assholeish way or completely disregarding the bfs feelings or justifying the OPs behaviour. They are simply showing an understanding as to why the OP did what they did.

It's kinda depressing to see how many jokes about having autism are made on reddit, yet how utterly unempathetic or understanding the plurality of users seem to be.