justadimestorepoet

justadimestorepoet t1_je44ggi wrote

Love, love, love this! Wish I could upvote multiple times. It reminds me of stories like Stardust (there are probably better examples, but I just read it fairly recently and I've only just started getting into fantasy novels), with the tongue-in-cheek tone mixed with an overall groundedness. I think the last line would have hit sooner and harder if this was say, a hundred pages into the tale of our heroes (however long it would take to become familiar with them and their dynamic), but once it sunk in, I think I gasped a little.

Brilliant work. If this was a novel, I would buy it immediately.

35

justadimestorepoet t1_jdmp9bh wrote

Thank you! I grappled a bit with the shape of this story, but I really loved the prompt and wanted to make this sort of tragic tale of life in a dog-eat-dog society. One of the most compelling tales is that of the heart in conflict with itself, after all.

2

justadimestorepoet t1_jdmg8ez wrote

Sophia's eyes pierced my very soul. Her grin had long since faded; it must have sunk in that the chains holding her were not part of some devious game I was playing, nor was it any kind of pretense from anyone who might catch a glimpse of us.

"What is this?" she asked. "Why am I here?"

I stiffened my face, keeping my expression flat. "You are here because you are a prisoner of Infernia. You have threatened the safety of my people--"

The chains clinked as she threw herself at me. "I never once so much as put a hand on my blade, and you know it!" Sophia's voice lowered into an accusing hiss. I turned away so she didn't see me wince, but her voice suggested she knew. "If I wanted that, I had you to myself so many times."

Of course I remembered that. Even now, I could feel her soft lips pressed to mine, her firm embrace as she held me, the weight of her sleeping head on my chest... As I stepped toward the window, the cold metal of the key shifted in my pocket and pressed against my thigh, as if to tempt me with how easy it would be to free her.

But being a queen is never easy. That was the first thing my mother taught me, years ago as an impling. It was also the last thing, when she locked us in this very chamber.

"You want this crown? Then you're going to have to take it from my cold, dead hands!"

"No, Mother!" I cried. The sword felt as heavy as the first time I wielded it, when Mother started training me. We had sparred, my flaws and weaknesses being first pointed out, then exploited, then corrected, all to prepare me to take the crown.

I didn't even want it. But when she charged me, instinct kicked in, and when I awakened from my rage, my sword was in her chest. "That's... my girl," she choked out. Her head fell limp.

She loved me, and she died for it. The rules of demonkind are brutal and cruel. Survival at the top, even more so.

I looked down at the commoners below me, and I gathered my resolve. I knew what I must do.

As soon as I unlocked her chains, she sprang upon me, not in vengeance, but wrapping me up in a tight embrace, burying her head in my chest. I closed my eyes, retreating my mind to somewhere distant, a misty, foggy isle of naught but me and the ferocious, uncaring sea.

Peeling us apart, I made my way over to the secret compartment in the wall, pressing the stone that would peel the wall back to reveal two swords. I took the one still with blood on it, uncleaned from my last use of it, tossing the other to her.

"In these lands, there is only one way to resolve a matter like this."

"No..." she whimpered. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

"Draw!" I hissed, taking a wide swing at her. She lifted the sword, blocking my strike.

"Please..."

"Sophia Everguard, you have been charged with the crime of theft against the Queen of Infernia." I pointed my sword at her chest.

"What? I have never wronged you, my--"

"Enough!" The corners of my vision went red, and I closed my eyes again. No, I could not let the rage win. For this to mean something, I had to be clear of mind. Once again, I pictured that island and stood on the rocky shores beneath the lighthouse. Just the waves and me.

I charged her, striking fiercely. She blocked each one, though her breathing grew ragged. "Please, Mara... I have done nothing to you!"

"You have done everything to me!" I shrieked. My claws dug into the palms of my hands from how tightly I gripped the hilt. I slashed at her, once again being blocked as our swords dragged.

"What have I done but love you?" she sobbed.

I stabbed, sliding my sword past her defense. It found its purchase in her chest, drawing the air from her lungs.

I lowered my voice, leaning in until our faces were close, like they often had been before. "Don't you see? That's precisely it. I must do this because I love you, because love only gets you killed out here." I pressed my hands against the crossguard, burying the blade deeper into her chest. "I find you... guilty... of stealing the Queen's heart." When the blade could go no deeper, striking the stone wall, I drew it back, letting her fall forward onto me. I knelt and held her as she died, resting her head in my lap.

"Sleep now..." I whispered. "Somewhere far from here."

When it was done, I let her slide off my lap and to the floor. Looking down at my bloodied hands, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and dragged them across my face, streaking my purple cheeks with red. I then cut off her head, carrying it with me up the stairs and to the streets.

I found the archdemons huddled outside the tower, clearly startling them. Swinging it by the hair, I tossed the head, rolling it to their feet. They stared at me, agape and wide-eyed.

"I am not afraid to strike down anyone. Challenge me again, and it will be your head next."

With that, I retreated to my chamber, feeling drained. I locked the door, collapsing onto the bed, and I wept, just like the scared teen standing over her mother.

5