The printer was disassembled. This would not usually be a problem, but the constituent parts had seemed to decide that it was time to make a floating pentagram. The room seemed to be lit by a fire place, and there was a continual, albeit soft, chorus of screaming. The terrifying face came back into view, covering up the scene.
"What the hell were you trying to print?" Teddy said under his breath. His mic picked it up just fine.
"What the hell indeed" said the client, before letting off a bone chilling laugh. They were red and scaly, and certainly had horns, but Teddy thought it rude to ask if they were djinnic, demonic or draconic. Teddy had only been in support for a few months and had collected a laundry list of faux pas in his performance reviews. The client had given their name but Teddy lacked the vocal folds needed to use it. The company's videocall software didn't have good audio quality either, and the client had kept cutting out while explaining exactly what was wrong.
"Sir, or um, Madame... Distinguished patron, for prompt delivery of your IT solution it would be best if you abstain from sinister implications and double entendres." said Teddy. He sat on a tiny desk covered in protective runes, just like the runes covering his cubicle walls. His desk was one of hundreds in a cubicle labyrinth, lit up under tinny tube lights. Above Teddy's tinnitus, the whining of cheap LEDs became the background noise of life itself. He had a little company provided pillow under his desk, and meals were delivered twice a day. In short it was the best job he'd ever had.
"Right, sorry, our daughter needed it for a presentation at school. Just a simple hex, she really took to it too. They gave her all summer for it but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, hey, got it done in one night!" said the client. Their face had contorted into a wicked sneer, which was actually a beaming smile but humans weren't designed to be smiled at by entities like the client. Teddy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, something of the animal response to quickly approaching death, but the employee manual had assured that workplace accidents were incredibly rare. Once every couple of months, which was a leading industry rate, the manual had repeated.
"Just a simple hex? What kind of incantation school are we talking?" asked Teddy. He didn't know much about hexes, on account of his degree being in information technology and cyber security, but he was really good at using Google.
"Nothing too peculiar, just a simple blood reversal hex, but the way *-* wired it was really quite clever! You see, normally *-* reverse the flow of the atriums but *-*" said the client, their lips continuing to move. The audio was cutting in and out but that suited Teddy just fine. He was reading the wikihow on how hexes worked. After a while he gave up and opened the hex in Microsoft paint.
"Ah here's the issue, look in between the sigils. There's a whole other hex in here. Have you noticed any activity at home in the room where the printer is stored?" asked Teddy.
"Now that you mention it, our furniture has been rearranging itself, and the cauldrons been bubbling when it shouldn't be..." said the client.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say this hex came straight off Google. Let me try plugging it in... Yeah literally the first result." said Teddy.
"No, it couldn't be, Anathema's a straight A student. We certainly raised a cheater but never with her education" said the client. They had taken on a pensive look now. They clearly didn't believe what they were saying, which was good, because if they did then soon there would be no more Teddy. The customer is always right wasn't just a platitude for Teddy, it was how he survived.
"I think I know what's going on, it looks like the interlayed hex is for a portal, looks like you've been the victim of a backdoor attack." said Teddy.
"Will that cost me a lot to fix?" said the client.
"Well the good news is the printer is a fairly easy fix, but the bad news is you're going to have to call in pest control. Looks like you have some ghosts. If you haven't noticed them yet they couldn't be more than, say, poltergeists." said Teddy.
"Oh, just poltergeists? Shouldn't need pest control for that, I'll put a few traps around. But what about the printer? I could never put something like that back together, even the error messages are Babylonian to me." said the client.
"Ah that's a part of our customer service guarantee. We'll get a technician over for the printer in the next few hours. In the meantime, I'm going to send you a survey, if you'd be so kind as to fill it out and tell them what kind of experience you had..."
highlyresinous t1_jd3031t wrote
Reply to [WP] You work as tech support for ancient supernatural beings who are trying to adapt to the modern world. It's a frustrating - and at times dangerous - job, but at least your clients pay well. by aRandomFox-II
The printer was disassembled. This would not usually be a problem, but the constituent parts had seemed to decide that it was time to make a floating pentagram. The room seemed to be lit by a fire place, and there was a continual, albeit soft, chorus of screaming. The terrifying face came back into view, covering up the scene.
"What the hell were you trying to print?" Teddy said under his breath. His mic picked it up just fine.
"What the hell indeed" said the client, before letting off a bone chilling laugh. They were red and scaly, and certainly had horns, but Teddy thought it rude to ask if they were djinnic, demonic or draconic. Teddy had only been in support for a few months and had collected a laundry list of faux pas in his performance reviews. The client had given their name but Teddy lacked the vocal folds needed to use it. The company's videocall software didn't have good audio quality either, and the client had kept cutting out while explaining exactly what was wrong.
"Sir, or um, Madame... Distinguished patron, for prompt delivery of your IT solution it would be best if you abstain from sinister implications and double entendres." said Teddy. He sat on a tiny desk covered in protective runes, just like the runes covering his cubicle walls. His desk was one of hundreds in a cubicle labyrinth, lit up under tinny tube lights. Above Teddy's tinnitus, the whining of cheap LEDs became the background noise of life itself. He had a little company provided pillow under his desk, and meals were delivered twice a day. In short it was the best job he'd ever had.
"Right, sorry, our daughter needed it for a presentation at school. Just a simple hex, she really took to it too. They gave her all summer for it but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, hey, got it done in one night!" said the client. Their face had contorted into a wicked sneer, which was actually a beaming smile but humans weren't designed to be smiled at by entities like the client. Teddy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, something of the animal response to quickly approaching death, but the employee manual had assured that workplace accidents were incredibly rare. Once every couple of months, which was a leading industry rate, the manual had repeated.
"Just a simple hex? What kind of incantation school are we talking?" asked Teddy. He didn't know much about hexes, on account of his degree being in information technology and cyber security, but he was really good at using Google.
"Nothing too peculiar, just a simple blood reversal hex, but the way *-* wired it was really quite clever! You see, normally *-* reverse the flow of the atriums but *-*" said the client, their lips continuing to move. The audio was cutting in and out but that suited Teddy just fine. He was reading the wikihow on how hexes worked. After a while he gave up and opened the hex in Microsoft paint.
"Ah here's the issue, look in between the sigils. There's a whole other hex in here. Have you noticed any activity at home in the room where the printer is stored?" asked Teddy.
"Now that you mention it, our furniture has been rearranging itself, and the cauldrons been bubbling when it shouldn't be..." said the client.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say this hex came straight off Google. Let me try plugging it in... Yeah literally the first result." said Teddy.
"No, it couldn't be, Anathema's a straight A student. We certainly raised a cheater but never with her education" said the client. They had taken on a pensive look now. They clearly didn't believe what they were saying, which was good, because if they did then soon there would be no more Teddy. The customer is always right wasn't just a platitude for Teddy, it was how he survived.
"I think I know what's going on, it looks like the interlayed hex is for a portal, looks like you've been the victim of a backdoor attack." said Teddy.
"Will that cost me a lot to fix?" said the client.
"Well the good news is the printer is a fairly easy fix, but the bad news is you're going to have to call in pest control. Looks like you have some ghosts. If you haven't noticed them yet they couldn't be more than, say, poltergeists." said Teddy.
"Oh, just poltergeists? Shouldn't need pest control for that, I'll put a few traps around. But what about the printer? I could never put something like that back together, even the error messages are Babylonian to me." said the client.
"Ah that's a part of our customer service guarantee. We'll get a technician over for the printer in the next few hours. In the meantime, I'm going to send you a survey, if you'd be so kind as to fill it out and tell them what kind of experience you had..."