At a celebration of sexuality… …let’s shame people about their sexuality.

I don’t want to sound like a TERF — if someone isn’t into anyone’s specific genitalia then they just aren’t into it. And not wanting to get intimate with someone doesn’t mean they dislike a person or group or are a bigot.

I’m monogamous and bi. I’m married to a man. I’m not looking to get intimate with anyone else. That doesn’t mean I see them as less of people. Not to be crass but — not wanting to fuck someone doesn’t mean someone sees the other person or their identities as negatives.

There are also sometimes essential biological incompatibilities e.g. folks with vaginismus or with trauma involving a penis may not be able to have intimacy with penetration. Literally unable from a medical standpoint.

Also not everyone into specific genitalia is interested in sex with people with those genitalia. People have preferences within the preferences. Everyone has a different build. I have been with so many types of people. Some don’t have a physical compatibility with me or I’m not into them. Even stereotypical super hot fit guys who have been very ‘blessed.’ But that’s me personally. It’s not indicative of their ability to find someone they are more compatible with.

People also have different libidos. So someone who has a high libido, regardless of genitalia, may not be compatible with a low libido asexual person.

Comparability with romantic and sexual partners isn’t limited to genitalia. There are so many factors. Even in terms of requirements people have for people they have hookups with.

I’m obviously pro LGBT rights. But I sound old fashioned and conservative when I say what happens in the literal bedroom is private. In that it’s not something the general public is owed information or explanations about. I also don’t mean private as in ‘should be hidden and something to be ashamed of.’ It’s private info people can choose or not choose to share with ours.

People in kink get that privilege. So should everyone else.

Essentially —

Conflicts in regards to some lesbians not being interested in inclusion in regards to trans women.

Some lesbians see a penis as a deal breaker — with biological sex an essential component to their sexuality, both personal and in terms of identity of the group.

Some lesbians are cool with penises.

Lesbians on both ends have been threatened with assault, sometimes involving threats of sexual violence by various individuals — not just (as some may mistakenly assume) transwomen. There is no barrier of gender or sex or sexuality in regards to threatening others in any way.

As an ugly woman, same.

Some people don’t get how this could be a human trafficking pitch which is understandable.

If you don’t get it:

Think about when you’ve genuinely been lost and asked for directions. What details do you include or ask for?

Directions. That’s it.

Something like “late for an appointment” maybe.

But people don’t:

• ask where people live
• ask for people to personally escort them there
• mention terms like “wealthy client”
• target young women traveling alone

I get asked for directions all the time, especially when the school year starts, because I work and commute near some major colleges. It’s always a question of how to get to a street or a building. They never ask where I live or ask me to walk them somewhere.

Never go to the secondary location.

Don’t. Having it on you means you’ll smoke.

Get a new bag for this if needed and look online for bags other folks recommend as their hospital bags. Get it in a less common color or in a pattern. So many people have black bags. I always get an ugly pattern to make sure I can see my bag.

Get one that is waterproof.

Get some one pouch makeup organizer to organize the small things including phone chargers.

Pre pack the bag in advance. Include phone chargers and bricks for both phones, long cords are ideal, colored items are ideal so you don’t lose them.

Bring a non electronic timekiller as well, in case you can’t use electronics for some reason.

Get maternity underwear and pads in advance.

Bring change of clothing.

Face wash and a face cloth towel.

Makeup wipes or face wipes.

Moisturizer for the face. Lotion — light and buildable. I like the aloe one from Jergen’s or Neutrogena. I forgot. Sheet masks if you want.

Hand sanitizer. Chapstick. Hand lotion. Nipple cream.

Light blanket. Heavy blanket.

I’m a woman. What I do is carry a pack of cigs and a lighter. Tbf I am a smoker.

When this happens I give the person a pack of cigs and a lighter.

They can’t smoke in the train or indoors so they leave the premises. I’ve never had someone light up in the train but tbf that’s a possibility.

Cigs aren’t cheap but it’s an expense I’ll pay to get certain people away from me.

Awesome. I’m not a rep but you can DM me if you have any questions or need help getting started.

You should make a post too. I’m posting Guinea pigs I foster personally so that I can better describe them. As soon as one set gets adopted, then I’ll post another.

Hi! It is entirely voluntary. I don’t get paid. Guinea pig fostering is my one big hobby. I am not compensated or paid by anyone, nor do I charge any fees. I am not associated with them in any way nor do I represent their organization.

https://www.arlboston.org/get-involved/foster/

Oh actually I do know some.

Melissa is Bambi’s mom. She was a foster of mine until Bambi was sexed. Melissa is extremely friendly (was since day one with me.)

Bambi just got adopted I think. Melissa is all alone but would be a great fit for an existing pair of pigs. She is very gentle and vocal about her veggies.

I sent you a message via Reddit, if you want any more help picking HMU.

The Odysshay

Guinea pig sleepover! I bet he is very tired and just so happy to be home after going from shelter, to my house, to shelter, to you house, all in under 2 weeks. The hero’s journey.

Tamira thanks so much for sharing your experience! It was a pleasure to meet you and your husband.

The moment he met you, he melted into your arms and he has zero fear. He is good with new people but I’ve only seen a pig do that when they can sense “their person.” At the shelter, he kept looking at you during the adoption process.

My husband and I were super worried that Winston couldn’t find a home that would accommodate his special needs, and a home that would respect that he needs to be kept separate from other pigs for his own safety. Thank you for respecting Winston.

I know. It is why I am so happy Winston found a forever home that’ll give him attention but also keep him safe.

Thank you for not surrender shaming! Surrendering happens for deeply personal reasons and isn’t a happy experience for either parties involved. Knowing your pet has been adopted and given a new home is amazing and encourages others to surrender vs. release to the wild.

You have a huge heart and I’ll hit you up for an interview for my website. It can be as anonymous as you want. Or it can plug socials. Whatever.

You say name shuffling. What I hear is witness protection. I’m so happy they found a great home! How did you pick them from the others?

Also the ARL LOVES adoption success stories. I’m running a blog about Guinea pig fostering and adoption. Let me know if I can interview you some time.

Come to Venture Cafe @ the CIC in Cambridge. Free event for networking every Thursday night. Google it for details.

I know there is a significant Francophone presence as well as obviously lots of people in your specific field.

I Stan this solo boar king.

You took Hazel and Basil? AWESOME!

Thanks for vouching for Ace as well. He is a chatty boy.

It’s sad but true.

If a Guinea pig would be a danger to itself or others, regardless of whether they even like other pigs, it cannot share a cage and a divider may be used with caution.

Ace may want friendship. I don’t think he does. During the bonding process with Winston he tried to bite him with intent to harm. During bonding, they roughhouse. That’s normal and good. Ace lunged at Winston multiple times with intent to harm which isn’t ok.

Ace is a solo Guinea pig up for adoption! Within 2 hrs., a Redditor adopted the last pig I posted. Can we do it again?

https://www.arlboston.org/adopt/adopt-a-pet/

Reddit found a home for Winston (see past post) within 2 hours of posting.

Can Reddit do it again? I’m fostering Ace. DM me if you’re interested in him or email the ARL, linked above. He has been at the shelter for around a year.

Ace is a gentle and sweet Guinea pig. He looks like a Siamese cat. His favorite treats are bell peppers. His love language is touch. His favorite animal is the human being.

Ace's favorite activity is grooming people. He will gently lick your clean fingers and comb your hair. Please give Ace's Salon a 5 star rating on Yelp. Adopters get a lifetime pass for free spa services.

He is very loving and will come to the side of the cage to sniff your hand or to eat vegetables. He enjoys playing with chew toy balls.

Ace is a truly solo pig and would do best in a home where he can get cuddles multiple times a day. Ace is gentle and would be a wonderful starter pet for a child, or a first time Guinea pig owner.

/////

Ace is a solo male Guinea pig. The ARL has tried to pair him with so many other Guinea pigs and hasn’t found a match. As genuinely sweet as Ace is to humans, he is extremely aggressive towards other Guinea pigs. His aggression to other Guinea pigs is not related to aggression towards humans. He has always been good with humans, according to the shelter and in my experience fostering ace.

He is what I call a true solo. He doesn’t need or want a split cage or a neighbor or playmate. He gets upset by the sounds and even smells of other Guinea pigs. I forgot to clean a tunnel before I put it in his cage and he became extremely upset.

A true solo is extremely rare and I would not use that descriptor unless it was accurate, and I would not use it lightly.

The upside to this?

Guinea pigs are social animals. Ace still wants lots of attention and cuddles from humans. He genuinely grooms people and loves to be held.

A solo pig is also cheaper to take care of than a pair. They don’t require as large a cage either. If you have a limited budget, a solo pig is actually a great choice.

I focus on observational and behavioral fostering to ensure I can accurately describe an animal to adopters. Not every animal is a fit for everyone and if one of my fosters isn’t a fit, I can held you find another set of pigs that are.

Adoption fee is $35.

If you’re looking to adopt any rats, the ARL might have some at the shelter.