> I didn't say she can't make a decision.

except you kinda did? you made the decision for her. "because she's more vulnerable, they shouldn't date." like sure you didn't technically say "she can't make a decision." but you certainly implied moral judgement where it isn't justifiable.

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> I said that the healthy decision would be to not engage in that relationship.

you didn't say anything about what would be healthy. you just said they shouldn't do it because she's younger, and therefore more vulnerable. i disagree. they're both adults.

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> It's hard to understand the difference in mindset of someone older when you're not there yet, it's just one of those things that makes sense once you've experienced it yourself.

this comes across as super condescending. sometimes people have different views from you, and it's not as simple as "you'll understand when you're older". i dated a much older man when i was 22, and it turned out fine. i'm older now, and i see no problems with what i did, or what he did. it was a mutual decision between adults, and no one was manipulated or harmed.

you’re literally saying she’s too vulnerable to make adult decisions because she, an adult woman, is too young. that’s infantilizing.

again though. they are adults. they should be treated as adults and allowed to date who they want without others jumping to unfair conclusions. there's zero evidence of manipulation in this post on the part of the older woman. you can't assume that just because someone is hypothetically more vulnerable to manipulation that they are actually being manipulated. i don't appreciate grown women being infantilized because they're "vulnerable"

they are both fully adults in my eyes. anyone getting upset about the age gap is being ridiculous. and yes, i'd be saying the same thing if they were straight.

that's not okay. people should be able to change their names and have other people, their loved ones most of all, respect that decision. when i transitioned, my family had no issue using my new name even though i'd used my old one for 22 years. there were mistakes made at first, but it's a matter of love and respect that the people close to you try to get it right. if she truly can't wrap her head around a new name for a person she had only known for a year and a half, that shows a huge lack of respect. i wouldn't associate with anyone who insisted on calling me something i didn't want to be called.