The Hunter threw the small plate across the room, it whizzed past the Vampire's ear and hit the wall behind him.
"It doesn't even make sense, you're practically immortal! You and your ilk are supposed to be "living" in an old castle or something!" I shouted as I tried to pick up the broken plate pieces off the floor.
"We spend all our financial resources on fancy crucifix-shaped melee weapons and don't make enough to get better living accommodations, so what's your excuse for living in this dump?"
The vampire calmly took a seat while sipping some cranberry juice.
"Dude, all those old castles are hollywood propaganda. I admit we're good at sucking blood, but not so much at making money."
"For centuries our kind buried our personal wealth in random fields hoping to come back to it decades later, but then we either forgot exactly were we buried it, or we find out that somebody had built a freakin monastery above it. Don't even get me started with all the stuff I deposited with the Reichsbank in the 1940s.."
"Look I'm not too thrilled with rooming with you either, but I really don't want to move out right now and the deposit is non-refundable sooo can we at least declare this place as a neutral ground? Truce?" The Vampire said as he held out a pale hand for a handshake.
"Why would I even trust you?" The Hunter shouted angrily as he prepared to throw yet another plate at his roommate "I found you last night in that alleyway where 3 people have been found drained of their blood in the past week alone! In the middle of the freaking crime scene! Good thing I recognized you before I drove that stake into your chest!"
"Dude, again I'm telling you it wasn't me." The vampire stood up, apparently mimicking a shaggy-like dance from that song that was popular decades ago. "I was there dumpster diving, looking for a meal- but not like what you're thinking! I wasn't looking for fresh blood, I was in that dumpster looking for that crate of expired cranberry juice they threw out-" as the vampire reflexively blocked his head with his hands as the hunter was about to throw another innocent plate.
"How do I know I can trust you?"
"Didn't I tell you I am vegan?"
"Everyday for the past month since we moved in, and that was before I found out what you really are, you monster! How is it even possible for a vampire to be vegan? How do I know you're not lying?"
"You'd be amazed at what modern technology can do, and it doesn't even involve stem cells!" The vampire beams happily, baring his retainer covered fangs.
"So truce?"
"Yeah sure, truce, but the moment you act sus-"
"Wouldn't think of it! Now, what did you bring for lunch? I'm starving."
"Just some bread." as the Hunter passed a plate of bread to his unusual roommate.
frodonk t1_ixek9sx wrote
Reply to [WP] You are a vampire hunter. Your roommate is a vampire. Neither of you can afford the apartment on your own so if one of you attacks the other you'll lose the apartment. The tension between you two is increasing by the day. by john_snape_
The Hunter threw the small plate across the room, it whizzed past the Vampire's ear and hit the wall behind him.
"It doesn't even make sense, you're practically immortal! You and your ilk are supposed to be "living" in an old castle or something!" I shouted as I tried to pick up the broken plate pieces off the floor.
"We spend all our financial resources on fancy crucifix-shaped melee weapons and don't make enough to get better living accommodations, so what's your excuse for living in this dump?"
The vampire calmly took a seat while sipping some cranberry juice.
"Dude, all those old castles are hollywood propaganda. I admit we're good at sucking blood, but not so much at making money."
"For centuries our kind buried our personal wealth in random fields hoping to come back to it decades later, but then we either forgot exactly were we buried it, or we find out that somebody had built a freakin monastery above it. Don't even get me started with all the stuff I deposited with the Reichsbank in the 1940s.."
"Look I'm not too thrilled with rooming with you either, but I really don't want to move out right now and the deposit is non-refundable sooo can we at least declare this place as a neutral ground? Truce?" The Vampire said as he held out a pale hand for a handshake.
"Why would I even trust you?" The Hunter shouted angrily as he prepared to throw yet another plate at his roommate "I found you last night in that alleyway where 3 people have been found drained of their blood in the past week alone! In the middle of the freaking crime scene! Good thing I recognized you before I drove that stake into your chest!"
"Dude, again I'm telling you it wasn't me." The vampire stood up, apparently mimicking a shaggy-like dance from that song that was popular decades ago. "I was there dumpster diving, looking for a meal- but not like what you're thinking! I wasn't looking for fresh blood, I was in that dumpster looking for that crate of expired cranberry juice they threw out-" as the vampire reflexively blocked his head with his hands as the hunter was about to throw another innocent plate.
"How do I know I can trust you?"
"Didn't I tell you I am vegan?"
"Everyday for the past month since we moved in, and that was before I found out what you really are, you monster! How is it even possible for a vampire to be vegan? How do I know you're not lying?"
"You'd be amazed at what modern technology can do, and it doesn't even involve stem cells!" The vampire beams happily, baring his retainer covered fangs.
"So truce?"
"Yeah sure, truce, but the moment you act sus-"
"Wouldn't think of it! Now, what did you bring for lunch? I'm starving."
"Just some bread." as the Hunter passed a plate of bread to his unusual roommate.
"Dude, garlic bread? Really?"