duelingThoughts

duelingThoughts t1_izuvymm wrote

Wow terrifying. I love your unique vocabulary, and especially the phrase using a comparison to God for physical features in the negative.

My only critique is that the first scary phrase is "are you ready for the last part?" Versus the end, "are you ready for the second part?" I feel like those should match, but maybe you have a reason. I feel like second part is scarier personally.

Well done!

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duelingThoughts t1_ivpt7hj wrote

Clever! Charisma isn't always about convincing people, sometimes it's convincing the right people. I also enjoyed the implication that because the charisma wasn't their own it essentially turned them into a puppet. Minor critique, I think the Mother Nature connection to death could use some work, I think that's the weakest of four tales.

Perhaps consider re-ordering it, as I feel like Mother Nature would be before the rest. Unless, the order isn't chronological but in order of precedence? I could see that.

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