contravariant_
contravariant_ t1_j0cgab4 wrote
contravariant_ t1_iuixyi4 wrote
Reply to comment by AutoModerator in [WP] You must implement the lyrics from the original rickroll in a short story. by Wafran
The New Testament.
contravariant_ t1_iuiwh3q wrote
Reply to [WP] Your dear pet is ill and as a last resort you summon a demon to heal them. What you did not expect was for the demon to be equally concerned for the wellbeing of the animal before any contract was signed. by Shadrak_Meduson
Beautiful. For that human there is true love, for their dog a juicy steak that he won't vomit up from chemo, and for me, a demon of the first circle, a human who doesn't know what its negotiating position is. I would have given it away for free. Would have even paid and the interest we collect from the world's greatest tycoons is unbelievable. Would have. And that's the beauty of it, the true beauty of Hell, trading away all you value for no advantage whatsoever. We tell you eventually, and then do it again to show that you can't learn, torment and a proof that you deserve it all wrapped up in one package.
"To save a life, I will need to take a life. Your dog will live a happy life and you will burn in hell for all eternity, is my deal. "
The second sentence didn't say it was the only deal. The first one was irrelevant; the dog was still quite alive, and it was a dog. But it was true, 'save' had two meanings and there was the Afterlife Treaty which kept us from pulling back souls without an equivalent exchange. Heaven was stingy about giving back. But they did respect humans' free will, and that was the only crack in the shield we needed.
"No. You can't expect me to take such an unfair deal. A human life for an animal? And you should phrase your terms better."
I had enough of this. I looked him in the eyes... they were closed. I looked into his mind. It was blank. He was meditating. He was good. But I put my claws on his head anyway, and acted like I had read his mind, while my familiars checked the human Internet for his CV.
"Ah, maybe I can explain. You're a businessman, a person like that is ninety-six percent going to Hell already. You're just trading away a 4% chance."
"Is that statistics on aggregate, or about me? I've donated all the money I don't need."
He was good, and I was tired. There was a girl waiting to sell her soul to curse a bully a mile away, and I wanted to catch her before she realized I would be doing that anyway. Besides, if kept up with this meditation he would summon Vishnu and then it would be a three-way contract with a god. Fuck it. I'll take a few days of torture over that.
"I will heal your dog completely, and take nothing in return"
"You can do better."
I would trade a hundred of my soul credits to attend to him personally after death.
"I will heal your pet and take no action to harm you, your loved ones, or the things you care about that I wasn't going to already before I heard of you. You will also receive one million dollars in your name. Be sure to pay taxes on that so your government can fund some weapons, anima damnata. This is my best offer."
And I raised my hand in the pentagram seal that none can speak falsely in. He closed his eyes for a second and put his hand too.
And I was gone, and his pet was healed.
A small price to pay. He couldn't speak this secret, he couldn't even think it on the mortal plane, but as he was going to the girl he rejoiced. Only God can create, and when the Light-bringer told God that His markets could turn the creation any way He wished, the lunatic created a prison for us. And He traded a prison for a palace. We can't create pain in Hell, our power is over contracts and exchange only, we can only transfer it so it produces the most suffering. And pets are a needed distraction, lest humans put a stop to the large-scale torture of animals on Earth that fuels Hell.
contravariant_ t1_iu6glxe wrote
Reply to [WP] "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS ANY LONGER" "But Your Majesty, the prophe-" "You want me to send a GODDAMN TEENAGER TO FIGHT WHEN WE HAVE TRAINED SOLDIERS" by JustLostInInternet
"Look... I know she sounds crazy. But she made a sword that can cut through armor with nothing but some rocks and a furnace. She knows things that our best alchemists don't. Something called 'molecules' and much more elements than the five"
The Queen looked down on the Supervisor and seemed deep in thought. He was dressed in royal attire that someone of his status would normally be crucified for wearing and wore a crown, that was part of the masquerade.
When the Summoning managed to provide a human-shaped being that responded to words, they took her aside and quickly figured out that she thought she was needed to complete a heroic quest to save the world. They were preparing an escort to the burial pit when one of her interrogators asked "What is a bomb?"
Since then she was rushed to the upper class part of town, blindfolded so that she wouldn't see the slaves, under a rushed explanation that made Karthos the supervisor: "the 'scyscrapers' are being constructed with powerful magics that would hurt your eyes, my lady". From then on he played the part of the noble King defending humankind from a plague of monsters. Which is not really that far from how some of the pamphlets put it.
"So she insists on going to battle against the evil enemy. We aren't going to lose her. And we need her cooperation for the 'bomb' and 'gas' to deal with the Elysian problem. And you.. well, we do say that high responsibilities come with appropriate punishments. For someone with a job as important as yours ... I will have to think"
Those were the worst five words Karthos has ever heard. The queen was a genius when it came to sadistic executions, when the road to the capital led through the former village of rebellious slaves, he almost wished he could drive his horse blindfolded himself so he would not have to see their mutilated bodies on display. Her thinking...
"I will do so at once, your majesty. I will take some Elysian prisoners and cut out their speech organs. We'll make them look like monsters, give them dull blades, and send our guest with some guards in case she finds that a challenge. We will tell her she is on a mission to find what she needs for her project, and we will prepare the materials needed for our new method of extermination. I thank Your Majesty for granting me permission to leave."
contravariant_ t1_j0rm9j6 wrote
Reply to comment by BlueCyann in Russian space capsule leak likely caused by micrometeorite by getBusyChild
The coolant probably will. Depending on the size of the drop and the substance, it will either sublimate instantly, or freeze and then sublimate slowly as its orbit exposes it to the Sun. But that's just the big story. What about the fragments of the wall keeping the coolant there, do you think they disappeared? And the 'micrometeorite' even existing in LEO the first place shows that there is something wrong with that analysis. There are fragments in low earth orbit.