I was on SSRI’s to get through the major episode, about 1.5 years to stabilize and then I went off them in order to feel “normal” again.

Oddly enough, SSRI’s would make me rage the fuck out every now and again. Never in my life have I experienced rage the way that I did on SSRI’s.

SSRI’s, cognitive behavioral therapy, learning how to do mindfulness meditation and a lot of time and working on my mental health. Took about ~2 years to recover. I will be in therapy for the rest of my life. I still struggle sometimes but I have the tools and support I need to reorient and recover when I start falling.

There has been nothing so life-altering and perception-bending to me than going through severe anhedonia when psychotically depressed.

I could finally (and truly) understand why so many severely depressed people take their own life.