I'm line line with your friend- I rate based on how I feel, because it's my rating. That said, if I recognize something was well done I just wasn't into it, I'm nicer to it, because it's part of the whole picture. I love classics, but a classic does not get a good or higher rating from me just because it's a classic, for example. For example I understand and appreciate the impact and relevance of Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, but man do I despise that book, thus it's a one star rating for me on Goodreads. When the differences come in as to "I understand and respect it, but I hate it" are seen and known in actual conversation with me, not in my Goodreads reviews, as those are just stars with no explanation.

Also obligatory we need half stars on Goodreads.

5 Stars - Loved it, adored it, will read it again multiple times (with rare exceptions and are unrelated to the original enjoyment or quality; some books I just can't read again even if great, for many reasons. i.e., I don't think I'll be able to read Call of the Wild again, because I've grown incredibly sensitive to treatment of animals and there's several scenes that I just can't read again). Will recommend to everyone. I could probably talk for hours about it.

4 Stars - Really, really liked it, very good, just didn't make that perfect rating for whatever reason. Strong candidate for re-reads later, but not a given. Will recommend to a lot of people but be a little more in tune to their particular likes and dislikes. I could talk for a long time about it.

3 Stars - It was solidly okay. Not offensive, but not great, lacking overall. Will not re-read, will only recommend if I know a particular person and know it totally aligns with their tastes. Mixed bag of if I'll remember I read it or not, and details will be slightly fuzzy, but I could probably hold a very basic conversation about it.

2 Stars - Well it wasn't terrible. I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it. I will likely forget all details of these and only remember based on reviewing my Goodreads rating and some key details of why will pop in, but not much. I might randomly remember I read it and was meh if it comes up, but details will be fuzzy.

1 Star - Hated it, would never read again, would never recommend, only marked this because didn't become a DNF but probably should have become one. Awful. Sometimes I wish I could give zero, but in absence of that it's a mix of zero, 1/2 star and one star. I will likely forget most of these except when reminded the pieces I truly hated and why, but only when reminded. Does not remain in my head otherwise and is gone shortly after explaining why after being reminded.

I'm in one, in fact our monthly meeting is this weekend. I've been in for quite a few years now. It started on meetup, but that site is stupid high in hosting costs, so we ditched it eventually.

I really think all book clubs, like any social club, are different, and it's going to depend on the members and types of books they typically read as to how they function, flow, act, etc.

We're pretty relaxed, open, very opinionated but even if our opinions differ, we hear them out.

We joke we're the food and drinks and book club, but we're probably 2/3 books and 1/3 food. Most of us are friends outside of it (some having known before joining, some finding friendships with individuals after joining). We do catch up and talk about non-book stuff, but probably 2/3 is book related.

We read two books a month. Read both, read one, read neither. The books will spoiled if you haven't finished or didn't read, unless you want to step out. We try and read a fiction and a non fiction, both pretty varying on topics. We do have favorite authors we'd read multiple of (we've read several Mary Roach books for our non fictions), we like theming when we can- a spooky or horror book for October, etc. We always choose something that has multiple copies at the library and is otherwise easy to get (no one gets excluded because they can't or don't want to buy a brand new book every time). Usually our organizer starts us off with something, but we just let the conversation flow organically from there, bounce off each other. Oh you said this and I thought the same, or I didn't and here's why kinda stuff. Some takes notes, some don't. We're all pretty big and serious readers, so books are a huge interest of ours independent of those we read for book club, and a lot of times we read stuff we wouldn't pick up on our own otherwise, which I personally really like. Even if I didn't like a book, now I know. I've found some gems that have become some of my favorites I might not have found otherwise, too.

We round table host, just whoever volunteers. I'm a huge Halloween person, and I decorate to the max, so I've got a standing hosting gig for October, our organizer claimed December, otherwise it's open. Bring food, drinks, don't, whatever you can/want to do, change it up every time. Theme your food/drink, don't. Just have fun.

If you're not liking the club, then I'd say just find another one. I don't know how easy that is, but that's just how I've found clubs and such to be. Either you click and it works or you don't and there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not a good fit. Some are more structured, some are not, some read all fluff some read the opposite, some are a mix. Gotta find what works for you.