acceptance.

attachment is the lack of acceptance.

you set goals, visions, dreams.

you identify all the things that could make that true.

you set out to accomplish all of those things.

and whatever happens, happens.

you can be disappointed, but your pain will be temporary. suffering lasts for as long as we remain attached to an outcome, and often grows in intensity

here’s a simplification: ‘i want my parents to live to their 80s’ your dad dies at 50.
it is painful.
you then spend the rest of your days wishing he were still alive, and that he made it to 80. from 30-50, you spend your time attached to the idea that you want him to live until 80. worry, anxiety is the natural thing.

a dramatic example of our illusion of control.

while true we have more control in our lives than if/when someone dies, it’s not by much.

its about attaching to an outcome, which causes suffering both if the outcome doesnt happen, or a delusion of control if it does.

it’s setting goals, having intentions, making choices, and instead of saying ‘i want this to happen’ you say ‘let’s see what happens’.

it’s curiosity, which ends in acceptance. acceptance that all of this shit is really random.

if you’ve ever done everything right and ‘failed’ then you can understand a bit easier.