Yeah I'm pretty confused about it all happening so fast. I really didn't like the feeling of confusion. I really wish this relationship hadn't gotten so messy. I definitely am going to give it some space. It's just hard to stop myself from thinking about it and beating myself up for driving her away, even if I didn't mean to.

I just really hope we can be friends again. I perfectly understand that things might be a little awkward for a little bit. If things are a little different, I'm also okay. I'm just scared to reach out any more, even for something platonic. I really don't want to overwhelm her with anything.

Yeah I wasn't really expecting to catch feelings for this girl. I honestly wish we could go back in time a little bit. I would much much rather still be a virgin and have her as a friend than be in the situation we are in now. I think the fuckup was the whole experience of sharing my feelings, then explaining I don't want to be a second choice, then apologizing. about all of it. I think it was just way too much too fast. I was in an extremely confused state.

Thanks for the advice. I honestly don't care if she wants to date me or not now, I would just like to have her in my life somehow. She made it better.