This isn't Maine. Plus we have a habit of picking up strays, and kinda trapping them here, as a state. So in my book, if they grew up here amongst my kids, if they have an accent and have a preferred party pizza, they're Rhode Islanders. Yeah first generation. It don't take long to get salt in your bones

Fucking right kid

You can't be a true Rhode Islander, but your kids could.

You'll need some deep held beliefs about which pizza strip is best, (DePetrillos or fuck off)

"Know a guy" for at least a dozen different things (min of 7 "guys")

Violently firm positions on red vs white (it's white btw, red is fine if they're out of the good stuff), and know and appreciate a good clam cake.

There's more, I'm sure others will help out with this list

Casertas

Take the doggo for a walk in swan point, a sprawling necropolis by the bay on the east side

You're supposed to yell "WOOOO"

Garbage Christmas! Should be in a few months. There's one at the end of May and a big one end of June with smatterings throughout

You mean old Bobby? He didn't move, he's just painting houses with me these days

So you'll be paying this ticket again soon huh?

There's several around, but it's more of a friend type situation. Dm me and we can discuss further

Yes, my merry band of Mercenaries are always for hire.

I travel the state eradicating ancient evil and righting old wrongs

The fuck?

Screw that Rhode Islanders have unfettered access to the Bay at all times, except for private property. That's not private property

I had a similar thought, but it's not quite his style. Perhaps a really early piece

It IS. Pro pro tip, eat them in the parking lot. Points off for spilling onions and meat sauce on yourself. Style points for smoking a cigarette while also eating. I don't make the rules I just observe them

Handy Man assistant. Just walk onto job sites and ask to talk to the boss. What skills tools vehicle you have will determine pay, but everybody is looking for solid help. Cash off the books is pretty common

Well duh. No one is ever miraculously healed after a city stabbing

These shits are a 3 drink minimum, just so you transplants are aware. Don't go in all gung ho and sober, get loose for them gaggers

Fa. Real.

Wait, Feb break is just a New England thing? I was today years old when I learned this

Imma bully these idiots if I see them. Supreme my ass

Agreed, so like what's your plan man?

Nooooooo

If they REALLY WANT TO BE HEROES, use etching fluid instead of plain olde spray paint