Isn't this just The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?

Making Attorneys Get Attorneys

I used to spend all winter snowboarding when I was a teenager and I took a break for a few years while I was in the Navy because I wasn't stationed within 1000 miles of snow. I gave it a shot the winter after I left active duty and didn't even spend a whole day on the mountain. My skills had degraded to the point where I wasn't comfortable anymore. Shortly thereafter, I met a woman who had been a high level skier when she was a teenager and was expecting to go to the Olympics before she got in a serious accident that damaged the nerves in her neck. She had full function of her extremities, but she said she couldn't feel very much below her neck and a lot of what she did feel was that painful stinging you get when your leg falls asleep or something. Her story made me give up winter sports for good. She was one of the best and she had a life changing injury; what the hell am I doing up there? I haven't been in the slopes in almost 20 years now, and I can literally see the resort I used to go to most often from my bedroom window.

I'm going to get 300 cups of coffee and then I'll be moving too fast for anyone to stop me from fucking whatever hookerbot I want.

Acid, if I've learned anything from cooking reality shows.

I had to stop reading and make sure I wasn't getting shittymorphed after about 2 sentences.

I doubt he meant at the same time but his brain obviously works differently than mine so who knows?

Common misconception, $2 USD bills have been in print continuously since the 70s.

Chuck Bucks

Well he hit a bunch of gang members so it definitely is.