Topinambourg

Topinambourg t1_j1z1axc wrote

Even from her perspective, she is not going to believe you.

She is going to believe that you think it on the moment, but she's just going to see it as a reaction from her getting engaged. And that's not what she wants anyway. Even if deep down she would want it to work with you, she doesn't want to risk it all for you when it seems like it's an emotional response to her getting engaged. Because then you could change your mind 4 months later as abruptly. It doesn't sound "safe".

I don't know Taylor, but I assume she is around your age so around 35. This is the time lot of people (and mostly women) decide it's time to settle if they want to start a family. And even if everyone would love to settle with the love of their life, it often isn't the case. But the next best thing is to find a loving partner, that provides stability and security, that will be a good loving parent. If she found that, she isn't going to blow everything to risk it with you, because yes you are a risk, and her time is a limited resource.

I had a similar experience, and when she said she wanted to stop, and I learnt she met a "safe" guy to settle with, I tried to show her I was ready. She told me I should have done this before, and basically she can't be sure if I'm being truthful or if I'm just like that as a reaction. And to her that was too big of a risk, she couldn't lose more time when she is getting older and wants a family.

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Topinambourg t1_j1yzixc wrote

It's ok. Sometimes the timing is just not right. It happened to me too, and even though I have regrets, I know it was not meant to be, and I cannot go back in time to change who I used to be.

You weren't ready, don't beat yourself up.

As long as it doesn't hold you back, I don't see issues keeping this person in your life and having some news every now and then. You have to respect basic boundaries though, and telling her your feelings is clearly a big NO. Especially that you might have been too much inside your head, idealizing what could have happened.

The fact is you were not ready, she might not even have been, and you and her might have wanted different things. Don't hang on to the possibility that something will happen one day. Life your life, enjoy yourself, be happy.

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Topinambourg t1_j1yh3v8 wrote

CO doesn't kill because of asphyxiation. It fixates on the blood cells and prevents them to work correctly. That's why it's called intoxication/poisoning.

OP cottage isn't a hermetic minuscule vault, the gas outflow would never asphyxiate anyone, because there is an enormous oxygen volume and because the place isn't perfectly hermetic from the outside air. It's almost like saying the CO2 created by their breathing could have killed them. And once again the smell would wake anyone up way before the level of oxygen is low enough to be damaging.

Reddit is just tripping

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Topinambourg t1_j1w40e9 wrote

Leaving natural gas open doesn't make Carbon Monoxide.

Carbon Monoxide is created by incomplete combustion, usually because of a defective device burning gas. This is absolutely not the case here.

It's useless to share random links if you don't read them nor understand them.

There was a 0% chance of a carbon monoxide intoxication by leaving the stove open (and no flame). As I said there are explosion dangers but it's not that straightforward and depends on the gas type and its concentration. So it depends on the volume of the house, the ventilation, etc

Now badly maintained devices can leak gas while working, and some of this gas can be CO, result of an incomplete combustion and a device malfunction. Once again that's not at all what happened there

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Topinambourg t1_j1vwvy9 wrote

FYI it wouldn't have killed them. There is no carbon monoxyde in natural gas. Worst case the smell and irritation would wake them up. The risk would be more an explosion, but not sure it's quite possible with that amount of gas

Edit: downvote how much you want, but gas open with no flames cannot create CO. It's impossible. And for an explosion to happen the smell has to be VERY bad.

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Topinambourg t1_j1qd9y6 wrote

10% of the world sexually active population has HSV2. I can imagine it's not pleasant, but it's nothing really serious.

How do you know you have HPV? It's believed that over 90% of sexually active males have it, so once again not that big of a deal.

I think the main issues you have is the shame of what you did l, as well as the guilt of it. Cheating that is.

The real fuckup was cheating, not getting those STDs.

(Also 400USD/h is not at all cheap, and it sounds very suspicious that you contracted all that within few seconds of unprotected sex. There might be more to the story)

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Topinambourg t1_iy2z1zz wrote

First of all I'm really sorry for you. Keep on with therapy, this and time will get you much much better. A physical activity is also something that can be very helpful.

I don't think that was really a FU from your side to introduce them, they are both liars and manipulative person's, you're better off without them. The FU is more about how you let people abuse you.

I will tell you something you probably heard in therapy: you are your number one priority. Learn to say no even to people you love, instead of trying to be "nice" and afraid to hurt them. Stop doing things too much for others, especially a SO. What happens is that you do that things for people to like you, but what you do is you make them need you. You don't want that, you want people to be with you because they want not because they need. Yes it's scary because if they don't need you, it means they can leave whenever they want. And that's probably another, very classic, issue here: fear of abandonment. You are so afraid of that, that your accept and much much more than you should.

But you're doing great OP, as long as you're making progress, it's all that matters. Writing this story here is a big progress, and I'm sure it wasn't easy. Your life is just starting, things will get better and eventually you'll love yourself. Keep going 💪

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