Yes I'm going to slow it down. It all hit me during this week

Mmm, thank you for your comment.

In his culture, it's pretty standard to get engaged quickly if those values of compatibility I mentioned in the post align. In my North American culture, it's different. We had another conversation about it since and he's willing to wait.

As for the obsession aspect - I want to be with him all the time. I think that's a part of me that I need to unlearn in what my understanding is of a healthy relationship. You're right though - it is dysfunctional in the fact that I'm a bit unsure about what a healthy relationship looks like.

Mmmm, well it's more of a cultural thing I think. I'm from North America, he's from East Asia. In the area we live in now, it's pretty standard that people get engaged quickly. I've told him about my customs in my home country, and he's willing to wait it out as long as we need - I did tell him I needed more time until we get married.

My therapist has reassured me that this relationship is GOOD for me, and that it will take time to learn what love is supposed to feel like, as opposed to lust - as other commenters have pointed out. I didn't want to turn down the proposal and make him think that I was rejecting him - but we did have a conversation afterwards.

Thank you, yes I will give this a chance and work on reprogramming my idea of what a healthy relationship is with my therapist

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I am painfully aware that I'm not ready for marriage yet. I'm not going to rush anything and I know that my man won't rush me either. We do need to spend more time together - and I do need to know what a healthy relationship feels like. Like you said. Thank you.