Thank you so much for the response. It does feel scary. I feel like I have to at least talk to him before I decide that I have to end things, see if he realizes how alarming this was and if he'd be open to addressing it on a deeper level than "counseling for his anger". If not then I really have no choice but to leave...especially for my kids' sake.

Thank you so much for reading my post and taking the time to respond. One of your points that resonated with me the most is how regular Gary has just been fine with leaving rage Gary unchecked for so long....like I think anyone would agree that if you're so full of rage that you feel the need to scream at yourself in the bathroom on a regular basis, that's probably something that needs to be addressed. Yet until this incident he's been fine with this being his normal...like how can he be okay with it?