From my past experience, it sounds like she found someone else and is just trying to find an excuse out of the relationship. She's shifting blame onto you as the cause so she doesn't need to feel guilty about ending the relationship and live with being the asshole that ended the relationship without a reason. I may be completely off here as there is only so much I can extract from your blurb there but as someone that was in a similar situation in a long term relationship with an ex that also had the intention of marriage, children etc. When she wanted out of the relationship she brought up something from months ago that was not a problem at the time and used it as an excuse to end the relationship. I tried to work it out with her but in the end decided to break things off with her as a way for the two of us to have some space and see how things go after awhile. When we broke up she claimed she would not date for a very long time. But soon after she started getting closer to a previous guy friend and lo and behold, a few short months later, I find out she was dating another guy and the years that followed she basically jumped from one bf to the next, she might have even slept around with a bunch of random guys for all I knew. The break up wasn't the most painful part, its the betrayal and the lie that she spun that ate at me while I blamed myself for the cause of the relationship to end which turned out to be a lie that killed me the most. So don't blame it all on yourself. To me based on what you said.. it sounds like bs... you guys were not expecting a child and she did not carry it long enough to form any bond with it.. so why is it such a big deal? She knew you were struggling too so why is this suddenly all your fault? It seems like she wanted attention, attention you weren't able to give her because you were struggling and she found someone else that gave her the attention she wanted during that time you guys were on a break. Now she wants out and is using the miscarriage as an excuse to do so. Like I said, I may be completely off base and I'm only this pessimistic due to my previous experience. As other's have said.. talk to her some more but don't fully blame yourself, don't let that eat away at you like it did me in the past.
ThrowAwayDawns t1_j28xcnk wrote
Reply to TIFU by not being there for my girlfriend when she had a miscarriage by Own-Middle3948
From my past experience, it sounds like she found someone else and is just trying to find an excuse out of the relationship. She's shifting blame onto you as the cause so she doesn't need to feel guilty about ending the relationship and live with being the asshole that ended the relationship without a reason. I may be completely off here as there is only so much I can extract from your blurb there but as someone that was in a similar situation in a long term relationship with an ex that also had the intention of marriage, children etc. When she wanted out of the relationship she brought up something from months ago that was not a problem at the time and used it as an excuse to end the relationship. I tried to work it out with her but in the end decided to break things off with her as a way for the two of us to have some space and see how things go after awhile. When we broke up she claimed she would not date for a very long time. But soon after she started getting closer to a previous guy friend and lo and behold, a few short months later, I find out she was dating another guy and the years that followed she basically jumped from one bf to the next, she might have even slept around with a bunch of random guys for all I knew. The break up wasn't the most painful part, its the betrayal and the lie that she spun that ate at me while I blamed myself for the cause of the relationship to end which turned out to be a lie that killed me the most. So don't blame it all on yourself. To me based on what you said.. it sounds like bs... you guys were not expecting a child and she did not carry it long enough to form any bond with it.. so why is it such a big deal? She knew you were struggling too so why is this suddenly all your fault? It seems like she wanted attention, attention you weren't able to give her because you were struggling and she found someone else that gave her the attention she wanted during that time you guys were on a break. Now she wants out and is using the miscarriage as an excuse to do so. Like I said, I may be completely off base and I'm only this pessimistic due to my previous experience. As other's have said.. talk to her some more but don't fully blame yourself, don't let that eat away at you like it did me in the past.