Since the room seems to like experiences, I'm gonna begin with you OP, 7 years of Reddit would amount to enough memories that I can bury you piece by piece not at once, that wouldn't be fun, I suppose that if I give it one memory a week, I'd be fine right, that should get me through life.

Although now that I think about it, I might just do your good memories first, starting with Josie, let's see how long you remember the coconuts ;)

Well, the comments have been really lovely so far, think I read one that supported the wife saying she was a true surgeon unhindered by emotions, and hence a keeper... Might I suggest sedating your wife at night and then giving her a shot of her own medicine?

You mentioned she was a surgeon, and working a job where time is of utmost essence while managing those stupid interns, who flinch at every damn command can be a hassle. After sedation simply slice off each of her fingers instead replacing them with stuff that would help out, a scalpel, and a retractor for instance, a reflex hammer might be "handy" too.

A pager is a very useful device and a necessity for a medical career, so for the left hand replace the fingers with a small one, do let her keep that thumb though for the buttons, gotta 'preciate those opposable thumbs eh? I hope this guide would be a way to tell your wife that you are in agreement with her methods, and also a way for you to make her life more

manageable

PS: You might think that leaving her with just a thumb is harsh but you ought to

>Think of it more like…downsizing.

She knew how serious her condition was and yet insisted on going on a camping trip. Might it be that she made a bargain with a creature? Not for her benefit, but rather for yours. I'd suggest looking up more about where she went, whether there were her friends with her or she was alone. The first step would be to check her location history and investigate for any signs of rituals there. Because tumours don't just go away, you don't just get a second chance at life, at least, not without a cost.

Same, but are we really sure it's just in our heads, or might it just be that we are yet to decipher it?

Also, she even made you remember that it was her that asked you to bring your friends, and not you who took that decision

Such a conflicting tale, for I can't bring myself to hate Maple, despite knowing that what she did was truly loathsome.

I know, and I think you do too that she never lied to you about how offering you "meals" weakened her. You found her weak, but even when you said she started acting less like a friend and more like a depraved monster, she never ate you, and she didn't even hurt you even though eating you would have sustained her, I think she loved you and was in the truest sense of the phrase a victim of her circumstances.