Absolutely. I get embarrassed that I allowed it for so long and all the time that was wasted. But nothings going to get better if I keep reflecting on it.

I try to establish boundaries but it has proven to be hard because they just think I’m out to get video games. They feel like the “other woman” lol

I totally understand that! I have made it very clear that this is it and things need to change. I just hope it’s enough but it’s hard to even hope based on how much they have let me down in the past. I really don’t trust them at all regarding it because it’s either video games or DND it feels like.

I am so glad you have found a healthy balance and a healed relationship with your wife! I struggle to even think about kids right now even though I want them because I don’t feel like I can trust them. I am going to find a few therapists and if anything else arises as far as questions on my end I will absolutely reach out. Thank you for offering. I appreciate it so much, this shit feels so lonely

That’s the biggest thing I circle on is that “I can’t spend the rest of my life like this” and getting married kind of made that turn from a thing in the back of my head to a blaring red sign.

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you. I needed this. And I do blame myself for pacifying it for so long. I told them that I am out of back and forth and today they just said “I am not fighting about video games again” so I very really have to accept that I am at my breaking point. I feel like I just have to “play the part” that all is good for the next few weeks for them to either step up and have this be worked on or to be disappointed again and be done.

I struggle with divorce because if I am saying it, it’s not a threat and there will be no going back. My husband will not be able to save the marriage if I go there and while I am glad it worked for you, I can’t see myself threatening divorce. Either this gets fixed with a mutual commitment or they will be served papers.

We are both in individual therapy and tried premarital counseling. We both have agreed to going back to counseling as marriage counseling but I have not seen any effort and struggle to find my own effort in finding one. Maybe that can be my effort in trying is finding a few couples therapists. Thank you

Thank you. I feel crazy but the more I journal and talk to my therapist about it, the more I feel like I have a right to feel the way I do. And that there has to be a balance somewhere. The first time it ever got really bad was because of WOW. It was 24/7 to not lose game progress. They knew more about people’s kids schedules than our own.

I feel like I would be 100% ok with it if all responsibilities are done (they often slack on their responsibilities to game- dishwasher, pets)

I really like the boundaries you have set and am so glad they work for you! I get that they love gaming and I don’t want to take that away. I have tried similar and it’s just the “you’ll never be happy unless I’m not gaming” or a huff about how I’m harassing them. I feel like a mom.

It seems like their therapist supports their gaming as an outlet. They didn’t play for a week after our conversation and they said their therapist “was worried”. And it just makes me feel like they’re getting an echo chamber but I don’t know.

Thank you so much for your advice and support ❤️