Awww. What a wonderful story. Good to see you back Rupert.

The old man had his eyes closed. To me, who slept with one eye open, it looked like madness.

"Hey."

His green eyes stared into my soul.

"Food... Medicine." My world turned upside down and darkness took over.

When I woke up, my arm was wrapped up. The old man sat by my side.

"Welcome back."

Trying to be discrete, I groped around for Otis.

"Looking for your knife? I've put it away. It had many shades of red on it."

"Give it back to me."

"We don't allow weapons here."

"We?"

"About 120 people here."

"What are you guys? Some sort of a religious cult? Newsflash, God's dead."

He smiled.

A bunch of huts around a clearing. There stood a clay figurine with its face was covered.

He smiled mischievously. "Prayer time. It's safe here till you are healed."

The people gathered and went up to the figurine in pairs. They raised the cloth covering the face, looked at it, hugged their partner and went back. From this angle, I couldn't see the face.

I also noticed a few kids and old people. Maybe this place was safe after all.

I gathered my things.

"Come see our god before leaving."

"No need."

"Humour me. I saved your life."

"For a while. The world can't afford to leave us alive."

But I followed him.

He held my hand. We walked up to the figurine, and took off the veil.

I saw two faces. Mine, haggard and scarred. His, scarred but smiling.

"The world didn't end when the bombs fell. The world ended when humans decided that it was survival of the fittest. You called us a religious cult. We don't worship gods. We worship humans. If we can be human again, we can rebuild the world. All of us together."

Word Count - 300

Guilty as charged. Since you’re here and I’m looking at your name I can tell you that I named a bird gwai in another story I just wrote. If you get that reference.

The techie rushed into the central command. “Captain! The human. It’s dangerous. It killed its fellow crew to preserve food and…”

The techie finally noticed the pool of blood underneath the captain’s chair.

The human who was hiding near the entrance rushed towards the final crew member.

The techie realized just in the nick of time what was happening. A quick push of the button sent a static noise through the babfis device. The human, who still had the device on its head, held its limbs to the side of its head. The techie ran straight to the infirmary.

The human knocked on the door, snarling and shouting. The techie tried to explain that none of them meant the human any harm. They were just trying to get it better and be on their way. Unfortunately the human had thrown away the babfis device. So while the techie could understand the human, the human couldn’t understand anyone else.

The door to the infirmary wouldn’t hold. It wasn’t meant to withstand attacks. Attacks. The techie laughed. There had been no reported attacks or any fights ever since the techie had gained consciousness. Damn humans. If only they hadn’t stopped. But of course, that hadn’t really been an option. When someone needed help, anyone who could helped. That’s how the intergalactic universe worked. Damn humans. Should’ve remained quarantined.

Quarantine. The techie realized that if this human could do this much damage in a few ticks, what could it do if it ever…

No. The life of fellow members was at stake. There was only one thing to do.

The techie rushed towards the fuel cells. It wasn’t in the techie’s nature, rather it was in no one’s nature to kill. It was an abhorrent thing that the techie couldn’t even imagine. When the techie had heard on the voice on the radio even suggest such a thing, it had been a massive shock. However, sacrifice for the greater good? No problem. The techie could do that.

The lights on the ship went out. The emergency lights came on, the red light making the human look even more menacing. The human found the techie emptying the fuel cells.

The human said something the babfis couldn’t fully translate. Phonetically it sounded something like astala cista. But before the techie could puzzle it out, the knife was deep in the throat. At least the techie died knowing that the fellow citizens and members of the federation would be saved from this monstrous alien.

Joel looked at the empty fuel cells. No. No! Not after all this. He had been barely surviving for the last few weeks. This had been his only chance.

He shouted angrily and stabbed the weird alien thing a few more times. The thing was dead already he supposed but Joel had to express his anger somehow.

As he contemplated on everything that had happened. How their experimental spaceship attempting ftl had somehow jaunted into someplace that was not on their map. How their ship’s propulsion system didn’t work in this place. The comms didn’t work. Bloody nothing worked.

How he had been forced to kill his own crew mates to survive.

And now, when a possible chance at survival had been so close, this bastard had just…

Joel shouted angrily again.

He looked at the knife, coated in green blood. He wondered if that was his way out. It would definitely be quicker.

Just as he contemplated this, a voice came in over the speakers.

“This is ship Weylander. Number 180924609. We are here in response to the code 6, 28 raised about a fugitive. We are here to apprehend the fugitive. We will be boarding your ship.”

Joel stood up, grinning. He took the captain’s jacket, putting it on. He cleaned the knife with the captain’s shirt and muttered under his breath. “Welcome aboard, motherfuckers.”

The ship, Conradomo, was making good time. In fact, it was a long way ahead of its schedule. If it wasn’t, perhaps its passengers wouldn’t have stopped to answer the distress call. Perhaps they would have just carried on. Perhaps none of this would have happened if only they had been slightly less efficient or had just taken one more break at work. But the fact of the matter is that none of those things happened and the crew did indeed answer the distress call. In the civilized world we live in, kindness should be rewarded. The only problem? There are things beyond our civilized world.

Conradomo docked with the other ship. The captain gave the go ahead and the other two members of the crew went searching for the source of the distress signal.

They came back with a creature they couldn’t really identify. The captain looked at the creature too, unsure of what to make of it. It looked quite unlike anything he had ever seen. But still. He was the captain and he had to do the right thing. He would save this alien’s life.

The alien itself was barely coherent, slipping in and out of consciousness.

The captain looked at their techie. “We need to understand what it is saying. Can we figure it out?”

“It is a language I have never heard. As long as the alien is out of consciousness, I can map its mind, allowing our bafis translators to upload the most common words it can trigger into our databases.”

The doctor chimed in. “Actually, it might be just for the best if we make the alien unconscious for a while. The constant changes in its central thought unit might not be good for it if it is anything similar to us in physiology.”

The captain nodded. “Let’s do that. To help it, we need to understand it. That’s the basic first step. In the meantime, I’ll try to reach out to others to see if someone recognizes this… thing.”

The doctor got to work, moving the bed where the alien was currently passed out, to the infirmary. The alien was then placed on the cryo table.

The techie walked in and placed a device on the alien’s head. “You gonna freeze it?”

“It doesn’t look like freezing would help. I’ll use medication to keep it unconscious for a while. How long will it take for babfis system to map the common words? It looks rough. But since I’m not familiar with its physiology I’m not comfortable with any treatment options I could use.”

“Not a lot.” The techie pointed to the device. “Built a handy timer for you.”

The doctor smiled. “Smart. I’ll probably take a bit longer just to let it recover a bit more.”

They sat with the captain on the bridge when the transmission came in.

“Come in Conradomo. Come in. Code 6,28.”

The captain sat up straight. Code 6,28? That was only for the most serious of situations.

“This is the captain speaking.”

“Did you sent out the image of the alien you have onboard?”

“Yes.”

“This alien is not allowed in the galactic zone. I repeat. This alien is banned from the galactic zone. You need to get rid of it right now. If not, you will be charged with assisting a fugitive.”

“A fugitive? What is this thing?”

“It belongs to a species called Humans. They used to be part of the federation a long long time ago. However they proved to be unstable and dangerous. We banished them to a galaxy far far away. We reset their scientific evidences and quarantined them.”

“Well they obviously suck at quarantining since we found it well within the range.”

“Be that as may. You are to get rid of the human right now.”

“Its ship is blown to smithereens. It will not survive.”

“That is not your problem. In fact that would be the best possible solution. Please put it back on its ship and get out of there. If that doesn’t work, put it in the airlock and just throw it into space. Anything as long as it is not on your ship.”

“Yes sir.”

Unbeknownst to them, the human in the ship had caught the conversation. The babfis hadn't translated all of what had been said, it had translated enough. The human quietly got up and went towards the cargo area.

“Captain. I’m a doctor. I cannot stand by and let it die.”

“I’m with the doc, captain.” The techie spoke up.

The captain looked at his crew and then towards the radio and nodded. “We saved its life. I won’t let it die that easy. Let’s try to do what we can. You go and see if you can repair its ship. Doc, you go and try to talk to him and fix him up the best as you can. Now that I know what it is, I’ll try to find everything about it. I’ll beam what I find to your bab devices. Unfortunately since this communication already happened and the code got called they will be sending some ships to us to check on things soon. Let’s try to get both it and its ship working by then.”

The crew all touched their left shoulder with their right hand, nodded and walked off to their respective tasks.

The techie went to what seemed like the central command of the human ship. After playing around with the controls for a while, a video appeared on a small screen. It was weirdly two dimensional and the techie had to wait while his eyes adjusted.

The babfis device which worked both ways, allowed the techie to understand a bit of what was on the video. The videos were logs of the last few days of the ship’s crew. The techie continued watching feeling more uneasy as things became clearer.

The techie rushed back to the Conradomo before the last video even finished.

The doc looked for the patient in the infirmary but it wasn’t there. Where could the human be and why had it left?

The doc called out, hoping the translation was enough to allow communication.

The doc entered the cargo area. “Human? Where are you?”

The doc felt a sharp pain in the bottom extremities. The human came out of the hiding spot, holding a knife it had stolen from the infirmary. It bared its teeth, and pounced.

The captain poured over the records. The more the captain went over the records the worst the situation seemed. The human files all contained some of the worst crimes the captain had ever seen. The captain wondered if all of this was exaggerated. Surely no species would be so destructive? Surely no species could be so easily prone to violence. Maybe they should all have listened to the…

The captain felt a wetness on the throat followed by a sharp pain. Green blood poured over the captain’s shirt covering the federation’s logo. The captain raised the paw towards the human. The human just stood there, smiling.

“Alright class. Settle down. It’s time I suppose. We will find out what your spirit animals are.”

The classroom broke into a cacophony of voices. It was one of the things any magic student looked forward to the most. A spirit animal would show them the way. It would also tell them of their place in the world. Would they be an eagle, brave and fierce, soaring to new heights. Maybe a lion, ferocious and an excellent leader. Mayhaps a majestic horse, driven and hard working. Maybe a clever fox. Or one of the countless other options.

Ms Stojakovic knew that most people would actually end up getting a bee. A symbol of following orders and getting the job done. Their society was built on worker bees. With the Magisterium at the centre acting as the queen bee.

Their spirit animal would only be visible to them. At least that’s what they thought. Her own owl sat on her shoulder, keen eyes capable of seeing what no one else could.

This was one of the reasons the Magisterium had put her in charge of this part of the studies. So that she could keep a close eye on the snakes, the scorpions or the wolves. Of course, your spirit animal didn’t really define your fate but it did have a significant influence on everyone’s future.

Ms Stojakovic started the process.

The children looked at her in shock. They had never seen Ms Stojakovic move so quickly. She ran down the hall straight towards the head office.

The secretary tried to stop her, tell her the principal was in a meeting. But this was too important.

Ms Stojakovic entered the room, looking straight at the headmaster.

“Ms Stojakovic? I’m in a…”

“Ishan. We need to talk. It’s urgent.”

The headmaster saw the look in her eyes. He nodded. He waved a hand, and the figures in the room with him dissipated into smoke.

“That was an important meeting Anna.”

“Not as important as the news I have.”

Ishan’s face was devoid of any outward emotion. This ability had helped him quite a lot in his life. But Anna’s owl eyes saw the massive lion beside him sit up and pay rapt attention to her.

Ishan noticed her gaze. “My eyes are up here Anna. Please talk to me.”

“Ishan. I… I’m not sure how to… perhaps we should look at my class?”

The classes inside the school were made magic proof from outside sources, with very little exceptions. As such even a wizard as powerful as headmaster Ishan’s couldn’t look inside. He followed Anna, walking as fast as his old frame allowed him. He and Anna had been friends for over a century. He had never seen her this excited.

The duo reached the classroom where the students were all still looking at their spirit animals.

It was a solid class. 60% bees, sheep, dogs, cats and other common animals. With a deer, a couple of lions, some snakes, a few elephants, and a smattering of various animals. There was a lot of potential here. 40% was above average for a class when it came to non common spirit animals. But there was one animal which had made Anna bolt from the classroom straight to the headmaster’s office.

Sitting at the end of the class was a small, scared looking child.

Ishan looked at Anna, slightly puzzled. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“You have found the one you were looking for. The chosen one. The one who will bring peace to our realm.”

Ishan stared at her, not breaking his silence.

Anna pointed to the girl in the back. “Her name is Milly. Millicent Adams. She could be the one we have all been waiting for.”

“I need you to be a bit more clear Anna. Since today was spirit animal day, I’m assuming this child has an uncommon one?”

“Not just uncommon. Something we have never seen before.”

At this, Ishan’s poker face finally cracked a little.

Anna continued. “This girl might be the key to it all.”

“Anna, as I have often told you, I don’t have your vision. You’ll have to be my guide as usual, my love.”

“Ok before I tell you what I see, tell me what are the things we know about our spirit animals.”

“Anna, must we..?”

“Yes.” She interrupted.

“Our spirit animals are our guides. They are the representation of our strengths and more often than not, signify the direction our life shall take. They also give us some specific magical powers that…”

Anna interrupted again. “Yes. Yes. But that is all about how the animals impact us all. What do we know about the actual spirit animals?”

“About the…” Ishan looked puzzled but he saw Anna’s expectant expression. “Well they are invisible to everyone and everything other than their human, except for the select few like yourself. They can help the humans out and grant their unique abilities to…”

“Yes yes. Everything else is fine. But the important thing. They are invisible to others. Not just humans. But other spirit animals as well. Except for my Gwai, of course and other few people who have owls as their spirit animals.”

“Yes. I’m aware of all of that.”

“One thing even Gwai has never been able to do. Interact with or touch any other spirit animal.”

Ishan’s eyes went wide. The poker face was discarded and all his emotions were visible now like cards on the table. “You don’t mean…”

“Milly’s familiar is an animal we have never seen before as a spirit. A capybara. Do you know what my Gwai is doing right now? It’s sitting on top of the capybara and looking more content than he ever has in his entire life.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“Apparently not. As you can see, no one in this class is unhappy. I have seen drawing ceremonies for about 8 decades now. This is the first time each and every one of the students is happy with their spirit animals. No one is sad they got a skunk. Or didn’t get an eagle or lion or whatever. As you are aware, spirit animals are directly impacted by our feelings, our moods. What we don’t often see is that it’s a two way street. Every single spirit animal in that room is currently very very happy. Even the usually irritable boars of which there is one in this class is happily sitting and enjoying the sun. The capybara is such a joyous animal that it is emitting happiness and impacting every single spirit animal in the room, in turn making every student happy.”

“So wherever Milly goes…?”

“This girl is destined to make everyone she meets and is around happy. She is the one who will bring our crumbling world together again.”

Added it already. Fair warning though. It got dark.

Appreciate you reading!

Shawna followed his gaze. “What the…”

“He’s tracking your phone. I…”

There was a thud behind them as Shadow stood there. The thud was a body that lay on the ground.

“All this over a fucking broad. You absolute piece of shit.”

“Look I can…” Shawna walked towards him.

“Shut the fuck up bitch.” Shadow snarled.

“Hey. Don’t talk to her like that. Or I’ll…”

“Or you’ll what?”

“I can beat you, you know. Our battle just an hour ago proves it.”

“Beat me once, shame on me. Beat me twice, not even possible.”

Shadow advanced.

Heath was prepared for this. The battle. He had planned out for the final battle whenever it would happen but not at that moment. For now, his plan had been to escape, allowing Shadow to take Shawna back to safety.

But what he was not prepared for was for Shawna to be out of the reenforced cage and in harms way.

Instead of attacking him, Shadow went for Shawna.

Heath realized what was happening and pushed her out of his way just in the Nick of time. He caught a blow to his shoulder and felt pain shoot through it. Dislocated. His ability depended on limb movement. He was at a massive disadvantage now.

But he didn’t care about that. “Shawna. Run!”

Shawna hesitated. But shadow turned towards her and she retreated. Her adrenaline blinded her to the fourth occupant of the room. She tripped over the body, looking into the vacant eyes of a man. From his dress it was evident that it was the dreaded Dr. Death. It was also evident that he was quite dead which was kind of ironic in an Alannis sort of way.

Shawna cursed under her breath, horrified at the sight.

Shadow moved towards her. Heath ran to intercept him putting his hand on Shadow’s shoulder. Shadow spun around quickly, took Heath’s hand and launched him across the room over Shawna’s head.

Shawna looked at Heath with tears in her eyes. She turned to Shadow. “Please stop! Let him go. He means no harm.”

“No harm? You know how many times he has escaped me the little bastard. Not anymore.”

With a burst of speed, he was next to Heath again. He wound up, and Heath saw a flash of something. The next thing he felt was wetness on his stomach. Followed by sharp pain. He heard Shawna scream.

He looked pleadingly at Shadow, utter defeat in his eyes.

Shadow smirked. “No witnesses.”

And darkness overtook Heath.

The mayor burst into his office, raging. “You fucker. Who is that?”

Shadow smiled. “Who?”

“The man you just presented to the media as Dr. Death. The public doesn’t know but I’m privy to a lot more details. That man wasn’t Dr. Death. He was someone else.”

“Oh really? Weird that Dr Death hasn’t come forward to refute that statement then.”

“What did you do?”

Shadow picked up the remote and turned the tv on. There he was, giving an interview on local news. “Look it went against everything me and the Mayor stand for. But the death toll and the damage was unacceptable. I…” Shadow pretended to wipe some tears. “I don’t like it either. But Dr. Death had to be stopped.”

The mayor looked at him. “Yeah I’ve seen that crap. What of it? I know that the damage wasn’t unacceptable. It got to that level because you didn’t stop him. You didn’t do your job. You were not at the site till almost an hour later. The media might be blocked from fight zones but I can still see all.”

“You notice your approval rating mayor?”

“My what?”

“Your approval rating. It’s up 20 points. It’ll likely subside a bit. But the election is in 1 month. I reckon this is enough. We’ll of course go out together and express grief and regret. Promise to have better monitoring so nothing like this ever happens again. Our policy of non lethal force continues. This was the one exception.”

The mayor paused. He opened a link on his phone. His approval rating was up 21 points now.

TW - dark ending.

“He needs to be stopped”

“What for? Out of all the criminals we have, he’s probably the most non violent. On our list of priorities, he’s right at the bottom of the totem pole.”

“You don’t understand. He’s the most dangerous of them all.”

“Ok let me look. Dr Death. Damages this month. 4 million. Citizens harmed. 8. 2 dead. Matterman. 15 million in damages. 3 people sustained minor injuries. Ah. Here we go. Heath. Hmmm. 35k in damages. No one dead. No one injured. Only 1 person ever kidnapped. Besides what sort of super villain calls himself Heath. Not even a supervillain name. I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape over…”

Shadow stormed out. Normally you could barely tell when he came in and out. Probably his biggest advantage. But the door was closed so violently that it came off its hinges. No way it could have gone unnoticed.

“Idiot.” The mayor grumbles under his breath. “When he can’t argue with math, he throws a tantrum.”

The mayor then busied himself in looking at his polling numbers. It wasn’t looking good.

“You might as well drop the facade and let me out. Or are we going to talk from across the room again today?”

Heath looked up. Their eyes met for a moment but Heath immediately looked away. “Yeah. Uh. That’s not really locked. 3 clockwise and 2 anticlockwise. That will let you out.”

Shawna did as he asked. To her surprise the lock clicked and the door opened. “You do know that it’s a creepy wooing technique right? I assume that’s what you’re doing here.”

“No… I… I’m sorry.”

“Some supervillain you are.” She went to him, and sat next to him. The cave that they were in opened out to a beautiful view of the city skyline. The sun was setting and the sky looked like it was on fire. She looked at his phone that he held.

She raised her eyebrows. “What are you doing?”

“Oh. I… I accidentally destroyed a shop while kidnapping you today. Damages of around 35-40k. I’m just sending them the money back.”

She laughed heartily. It was like a roar of happiness and it made his heart flutter. “You really don’t know how to be a supervillain.”

“Well I’m retiring today. So it’s probably for the best.”

“You’re retiring? Why?”

“He was there today. Waiting for me. He knows I’m targeting you specifically. I tried to keep it random. But obviously he’s been keeping a watch on you continuously.”

“What do you mean he’s watching me?”

“I usually time my attacks based on when other villains attack. When he’s busy. Dr Death is in the middle of a major attack right now. But Shadow didn’t go to help there. He stayed, keeping a watch on you. I missed him, of course. Impossible to see him if he doesn’t want you to or if you’re prepared for it specifically. So he’s prioritizing stopping me over saving the dozens of people who are in danger right now. I can’t do that. I could never live knowing people came to harm because of me. He should be out there stopping Dr. Death. But he attacked me. Once I saw him, I was prepared of course. But the damages. I’m not a rich man. 50k is basically all my life savings. I wish I had more so I could try to compensate for the people Death is…” He paused, realizing Shawna was staring at him.

“You’re a supervillain. You’re supposed to do bad things to get money or power. Not empty out your bank accounts to help victims.”

“As you said, I’m not a good villain.”

“Why then?” Shawna took out her phone, put it on silent and placed it between them.

He looked at the phone.

She smiled. “It’s not recording or anything. Out here at the edge, I have a bar. Inside there’s no signal. As you’re probably aware which is why you’re sitting here to do bank transactions.”

“Oh. Yeah. That and the view is gorgeous here.”

“It really is.” But she shivered a bit.

“Oh I’m sorry. Let me.” He made a wrist movement, and a jacket appeared almost by magic.

“Thank you. Super cool.”

He smiled and stared at his feet. “Nah it’s nothing.” He looked out at the sky again. “It doesn’t seem like he’s coming.”

“I wonder why. Not that I’m complaining.”

“I hope he’s stopped Dr. Death.”

“If it’s the last time, I’d like to know why.”

“Why what?”

“Why do all of this? Who are you?”

“Well the second one is easy. My name is Heath.”

“Not your villain name. Your real one.”

He looked a bit sheepish, as sheepish as possible with a mask on. “It’s Heathcliff. My mom loved the classics.”

Shawna laughed. “What the fuck!!! You didn’t even change your name?”

“I didn’t really think it through! It was just a moment that I went insane. And I do want to apologize for that. I know I’ve caused you some real harm.”

“Not particularly. I’ve come to sort of enjoy our conversations. You’re obviously a smart guy.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“It’s not. But have you seen the dating pool out there? This isn’t even my weirdest date.”

“It’s not a date! I just… ok let me ask you this. Do you believe in fate?”

“Oh god. Now I’m starting to sour on you.”

“I know I know. That sounds weird. High school athletic meet. You were the basketball star.”

“How do you know that?”

“I… well… I was at the finals game. I went to St. Mary’s.”

“No way! Did you play?”

“No no. I wasn’t good at any sports. But I saw you and…”

“Creeping back into creepy.”

“I know! It’s not like that though. I saw you. And I know it’s a bit cringy. But I sort of fell for you. I never intended to see you again. I just knew your name. And I had your smile after the final shot. That was enough for me.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“I was there for 2 days. Then I’d be back miles away. Plus I… well… let’s just say you were always too good for me.”

“That’s silly talk.”

“I know we like to say that. But like, I couldn’t imagine why you would go out with someone like me. Especially since I was going to be gone shortly.”

“That’s quitter talk. What’s the worst that could’ve happened.”

“Nothing I suppose. Let’s just say I was a coward.”

“And then. You decided this was the best way to see me again. As I said, we’re strongly in creepy territory again.”

“I… I don’t know how to explain. Look I gained my powers when I hit puberty. But I was already bullied enough. I was already called freak by everyone. I just hid them. When I first… well kidnapped you, do you remember what happened?”

“I kinda do. There was bad weather and then… oh!!!”

“Yep. It was the day Matterman attacked. The building behind you was about to collapse. I looked across the street and say… well the lost, first love. I panicked. I just wanted to get you out of harms way. But then I imagined exactly this conversation and didn’t want to show you my face or tell you who I was. Because it was obviously creepy as you pointed out. So I just pretended to be a villain. The second time.. again I swear to god I just saw you. I just panicked again. You looked at me and I thought you recognized me. I just quickly put on a mask. People, including you got scared. And i just.. I don’t know why I did that honestly.”

“And then we got to talking.”

“I sort of begin to enjoy our conversations. While I’ve hidden my superpowers I still did want to know more about them. I had researched Shadow and other heroes and villains. I can sort of match up with Shadow as long as I can control the environment. Plus the whole he won’t kill works in my favour.”

“And today?”

“It seems that he has decided I am more important than actually saving lives. So I guess I’m saying goodbye.”

Shawna reached over and took off his mask. “Next time. Just text me. Look I enjoy talking to you. And just to be clear I’m not saying anything is going to happen here. But I’ll give you a chance to woo me.” Shawna took her phone and handed it to Heath. “Put your number in.”

Heath looked shocked. But he took her phone.

Tracking in progress

“Oh no.”

TW - Some dark descriptions. Suicide.

I toss and turn on my bed. I look at the clock. 4 am. Yep. Figures. No sleep tonight.

I head to my home gym. I used to go to the public one. But someone recognized me there. Someone whose life I had… impacted. He had attacked me. I didn’t try to defend myself. But the guards were able to quickly pull him off me. I didn’t thank them. I just walked away. One call and the city provided me the equipment I needed at my home, no questions asked.

I’m exhausted after my workout and look at my bed. A bed should be the most comfortable place for a person. A place to power down, let go off your problems, relax and let your mind wander freely via dreams. For me… i loathed it. My mind wandered. I just didn’t like where it ended up.

I put on the tv. There’s some old Asian movie on. Tiles of fire it’s called. Seems to be about some sort of a game. It isn’t great but it’s better than nothing.

In an instant the farmer’s son is replaced by a young teen. The teen has a hole where her heart should be. She holds it out to me, blood still dripping. To my horror I take it. She smiles, nodding encouragingly. I throw it on the ground. I’m crying. But not her. She’s still smiling as I stomp her heart. Her smile cannot hide her pain though. By the time I finish stomping, the heart, once driving this young girl with her whole life in front of her has been turned to mush. A whole lot of nothing. There is a whistling sound in my ears. It gets plunder and louder till blood starts to pour from my ears. I look at my bloody hands and try to scream. No sound comes out. I look down and realize I’ve stomped on my own tongue unknowingly. I look at my blood hands and shoes and I scream silently again. I scream and scream and…

I wake up with a start noticing that my phone was ringing. I am struggling to breathe. It’s the superhero line. No. Not today. God damnit not today.

I reluctantly pick up the phone.

Sarafina’s voice breaks through my brain fog. “Trolley man? Are you ok?”

I’m fond of Sarafina. She has told me the story of her name a few times. Her mother had died during childbirth. She was a big fan of the “his dark materials” series of books. Her dad, a brute, who had read nothing longer than a 3 page menu at Denny’s, but still loved his wife had tried to honour his wife’s memory by naming Sara after a character. Of course, he couldn’t remember the name exactly and had butchered the spelling. But Sara didn’t mind. She claimed it showed that he made an effort and that’s the best any of us could do. Her dad had died a few years ago. She herself had contracted a rare form of cancer. Her survival had been a miracle. I wonder if I’d ever be able to admit anything to her. When I had gotten the call from her, gushing about her recovery, I had been sitting on a rooftop, with an innocent kid in my rifle’s scope. Would I have gone through with it? I dont know. I just knew one thing. I was a monster. I knew it. She knew it. Everyone knew it. But I was also their trump card. And thus they all ignored so many of my murders.

They could. But not me. I still woke up at nights trying to wash the my bloody hands of the blood only I could see. I was haunted by the ghosts of their memories, the lives they would never live.

“Please don’t call me that. Just call me anything else.”

“That’s your superhero name.”

It was also the name that existed to remind me of my nature. “Just call me a man. Let’s skip the trolley.”

There was an urgency to her voice. After all this time I could pick it up. Even if I had talked to her for a while. “We need you. Code red.”

I raise my eyebrow. “That bad?”

“Worse than anything you can imagine.”

“This is the last time Sara. You promised.”

“I did. I intend to keep it. But you need to be here right now. We don’t have much time.”

I look back at my lonely bed. I always told her it would be the last time. But the idea of being alone with my memories scared me. I knew I would probably end up killing my self if left alone without a purpose. I know it’s not a nice thing to say but it is true. So I sigh and leave. I could kid myself that this was the last time but I knew well enough that it wouldn’t be. I was too much of a coward.

The sun is being blocked by something. The people are running back and forth. It’s always amazing to see how different people react to something like this. What “this” is, I don’t know yet. And I don’t care. For me, the true monster was inside me. This thing, supervillain, monster whatever it was, was no match to the MeMon, as I fondly called it.

Sara is standing inside the facility with a dossier. “We are in deep trouble. We are dealing with a…”

“I don’t care Sara. Let’s get it over with.”

As I pass her she puts her hand on my shoulder. “You are a hero. You’re doing a good thing. You should know that.”

“Am I? Then why does it scare me? If I’m a hero why do I want to go run away screaming in the other direction?”

“Why haven’t you been talking to me?”

My tongue. Smashed under my foot. She’s beaten death. I am death. It’s impossible. “I want to be alone for some time. Please respect that.”

She walks briskly keeping up with me. She asks me more questions. About me. My health. If I was going to therapy. I ignore all of the questions. At this moment I’m wound up tighter than a 8 day clock. At any moment my insides can explode out destroying everything.

I walk into the room. It’s empty except for one person who’s sitting on a chair. She seems young. She’s praying.

God. What an idea. If a god had created me, he was no less than a devil.

The girl looks at me. She’s smiling. I close my eyes tightly as I flash back to my dream.

I turn my back to her.

“Sir. I’m glad to be…”

“NO. NO YOU AREN’T.”

She’s taken aback by my outburst. “I am! If my life can be…”

“Oh just stop it.” I spit on the ground.

She looks at Sara, her eyes welling up with tears.

Sara walks up to her and gives her a hug. “It’s ok Ramona. He’s just…”

“WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY HER NAME?”

I take out a gun and shoot at the young girl Ramona. It’s a clean shot right in the middle of her forehead. Sara catches a lot of splash on her pristine white pantsuit.

I turn around and walk out. I can hear Sara calling for me from behind but I have no desire to talk. Outside the shadow has lifted and the sun is beaming down on everyone in the town. Everyone except me. The permanent shadow that is always over me, is darker than ever.

Sara catches up to me, out of breath. She again holds my shoulder turning me around. “She only had 3 days to live.”

“That she never will because of me. Those 3 days could’ve been the best of her life. But no. I cut them short.”

“You are a superhero. You have saved countless lives today. Thousands. Maybe millions.”

“You don’t know that. I’m not a hero Sara. I’m… Sara?”

I look at her. Her eyes are bulging. She’s struggling to breathe. She motions to her purse. “Epi… epi…” is all she can say.

“Are you having an allergic reaction? Do you have an Epi pen?”

I take her purse and turn it upside down, all the contents raining down on the floor. No Epi pen. I look at her with horror.

She’s smiling at me.

No. No.

“Don’t smile. Be angry god damn it.”

I look around. There’s no one around. The unit has hardly any employees and the entrance is well hidden. The employees that are here are probably taking care of disposing off the body.

She holds out her hand.

I shake my head. “I’m not gonna watch you die. Not you. Not another person.”

I take out my gun and point it at my head. “I can’t watch more death Sara. Forgive me.”

Time slows down as I feel pressure. I feel a whistling sound in my ears. It feels very familiar. As the consciousness departs my body I still have enough left to see that Sara has gotten up and is rushing towards me. She doesn’t seem sick at all.

That means…

I was innocent. I am innocent. I keep repeating this mantra as my only path to salvation.

I have a smile on my face as I feel something stomping on my brain.