“Oh shut up Chad, you’re just mad I’m planning on killing you next chapter”

“Wait what?”

“I like women. You in particular.”

“Oh... I like you too that’s why I cursed you.”

And then they kissed

Queen Larissa humms thoughtfully and sips her wine, considering each line of the prophecy she had received earlier that day. She wanted to believe it false, that her reign would end at the hand of the baby she had been shown, but her sister’s prophecies had always come true.

“Are you alright my love?” her husband, Cedric asks.

“Do you think I’m cruel?” Larissa replies, gesturing to one of her slaves to pour her more wine.

The boy is shaking and wine splashes out of the goblet. Larissa glares at the boy and grabs his wrist.

“Useless child,” she snaps, “guards take him to the dungeon. He’ll be hung tomorrow at noon.”

The guards obey and drag the young slave away. The other slaves shrink back, trying to hide from the Queen’s wrath. Larissa takes another large sip from her goblet.

“You’re not cruel to me,” Cedric speaks and Larissa glances at her husband, having forgotten she had asked him that question. He fiddles slightly with the chains that wrap around his wrist.

“So you do believe that I’m cruel,” Larissa comments and Cedric nods slightly.

“Larissa stop asking ridiculous questions. You’re rule has been plagued by blood and suffering of course you’re cruel. You just sentenced a boy to death for spilling some wine, I can only imagine what you’ll try to do to escape your fate,” her sister, Arella says from the other end of the table.

“Aren’t you the one who is always telling me that once a prophecy is willed it’s fate is unavoidable?” Larissa mutters.

“Yes, but you don’t usually listen to me, why should I expect this time to be different.”

“Because I’ve decided I’m going to raise this boy as my own. If I’m too be overthrown by this child then it will be on my own terms. I sent Captain Carter to retrieve the boy for me,” Larissa says.

“You’ve always tried to cheat your fate in whatever way possible,” Arella sighs and stands to leave.

There is a knock at the door and Captain Carter steps into the room, holding a sleeping baby. Larissa smiles and the Captain bows deeply.

“I found the child your Majesty. Would you like me to dispose of it?” He asks.

“No. The boy is my son now,” Larissa says and takes the baby from Captain Carter, uncaring about the blood stains on the thin blanket.

“Do you have a name for him my love?” Cedric asks.

“I was thinking Ezekiel,” Larissa replies and hands the baby off to Cedric, “find a wet nurse and make the announcement that my son has been born.”

“I look forward to the day your reign ends sister,” Arella says and storms out of the room.

The bang of the door wakes Ezekiel and his cries echo around the dining room. Cedric rocks him gently and Larissa smiles at her new son.

“Uhhh. I think we have a problem. I sort of accidentally killed our leverage...”

You are determined to enter the store and get exactly what you need to succeed. You enter the store and are immediately greeted by someone trying to shove fliers into your face. The lights flicker obnoxiously and the music is set to the most annoying mixture of Christmas songs but for some reason they are all in an edm style. Its horrible, but you continue into the store. You had promised yourself that today would be the day you complete your task. The shelves are a disorganised mess and everything seems to be out of stock. Then you see some toothpaste and smile. You grab the small box and walk quickly to the front counter. The cashier is a teenager with a trainee badge.

“Hello, just this today please,” you say.

“Sorry, I’m not authorised in the system yet I’ll have to get my manager,” the cashier replies.

“Okay no worries.”

The cashier leaves and you start to fidget feeling restless, but you’re so close that you can’t possibly give up. You decide to play a game on your phone and pick candy crush. You play until your phone dies and you sigh. You probably should have charged it all the way. You put your phone away and start to pace. You have to do this.

Finally the cashier returns with the manager. The computer beeps as the manager tries to log into the computer.

“Sorry it seems there is a glitch on this computer and it’s locked me out would you mind moving to register five,” the manager says.

“Oh I’m sure. Where is register five?” you ask.

“That way,” the cashier points and you realise the manager has already left.

You wander off in the direction that the cashier pointed. You see a beautiful fern tree for sale and stand there staring at it for several moments. You love plants and this truly is the most beautiful fern tree you have ever seen. So you decide to get it too. You look around but there are no shopping carts in sight. So you put the toothpaste down and work out how you’re going to get the plant to register five. After several attempts you realise that you can just push the giant tree so that’s what you do. You hope you’re partner loves it has much as you do. You push it all the way around the store into you finally see the manager standing at register five. They seem surprised, probably at the fact that you’re so tiny pushing such a huge tree.

“You found it,” the manger says, “let me scan your items.”

The manager looks at the tree for a barcode but can’t seem to find it. “Hmm guess I’ll have to enter it manually.”

“That’s okay. It’s so beautiful isn’t it,” you say.

“Yes indeed,” the manager says.

They slowly type into the computer and you glance up at the clock on the wall. There is about an hour until closing time.

“Ahh there we are. That’s the one,” the manager says, “cash or card. Oh no I entered the wrong number. I entered the code for. Let me redo that for you.”

They renter the number, then renter it again then again. Suddenly you remember the toothpaste. “Wait just a moment,” you say and rush back to the way you came.

You try and remember where you left the toothpaste, but when you get back to where you are sure was were you got the tree, but the toothpaste is nowhere to be found. You backtrack and sure enough someone had moved the toothpaste back onto the shelf.

The announcement over loud speaker tells you that there is now five minutes until close. You rush back to register five.

“Here, don’t worry about the tree. I don’t have room for it in my car. I’ll have to come back for it.”

“Very well,” the manager replies and types on the computer. After a few moments they scan the toothpaste.

“Cash or card today?” They ask again.

“Card please,” you reply.

The manager nods and types the number into the machine. It beeps loudly and you insert your card. It immediately declines.

“Do you have another payment method?” The manager asks.

“I swear that had sufficient funds on it,” you mutter, than to the manger say, “I have another card.”

But the same thing happens with your second card. “Sorry must be our system,” the manager says.

“Oh that’s okay. I have cash,” you say excitedly, remembering the birthday money your grandma gave you.

“Very well. Let me input that for you.”

You glance up at the clock. There is only one minute to go until the store closes and you really need that toothpaste, so you hand over the note.

“Keep the change. I have to get out of here,” you say and quickly sprint to the exit. You manage to only trip once and you make it out the door with four seconds until the store officially closes.

You head towards your car. You did it, you can’t believe you actually managed to accomplish your goal.

“Excuse me. You forgot something.” You turn towards the frantic voice and see the manger is chasing after you.

The manger hands you a small slip of paper. “Congratulations. Would you mind explaining your strategy,” they say.

“You mean for buying the toothpaste? Wait why did you just give me a check for one million dollars? ” You ask confused

“You won the competition. In the ten years we have been open nobody has succeeded until now,” the manager says.

“Competition? For buying toothpaste?”

“For buying anything. That’s why we are called the Inconvenience Store, it’s practically impossible to buy anything, yet you were successful,” the manager explains.

You laugh, “ohhh I just really needed toothpaste. I ran out the other day.”

“Then why did you come here? Not go to a regular store?”

“I have adhd, I was so determined to buy the toothpaste today and my regular store was closed so this was the closest.”

Time freezes but for some reason you’re the only person who seems to be unfrozen and try to figure out why