Goddammit.. that genuinely wasn’t intentional but now i cant unsee it.

Ask, and ye shall receive

part 2/2

I make an excuse and leave my colleague to their devices as I make my way to my office. I don’t really want to be exploring whatever this is with an audience watching me. Sitting down at my desk, I close my eyes and return to where I left.

Slowly I make my way through the halls I thought I once knew. Every so often, I would see where an artefact should be was now empty. In every room leading to the area, the message said I should go there were smashed cases. Whoever or whatever has done this clearly wanted my attention.

It is now, I arrive at the entrance, that I can see beyond what usually is a void with only a sign next to the doorway. There now actually is a room. A room I have never stepped in, let alone glanced at. However, It is understandably dim. Lighting clearly is not something on my mind for this subject.

Cautiously edging into the room, I can see displays on the walls. Faint images I can’t make out in the dim light. Looking at them, though, I can only feel a deep dread grow within. I don’t know why but I’m sure whatever memories are attached to these images are not pleasant.

It is as my eyes dart about that I hear it begin. A slow, methodical clap. Something the most stereotypical of villains would do when the hero stumbles into their trap. The room's lights come on all at once, and I am momentarily blinded. Sitting on one of the benches dotted around the museum is… well, it’s me.

“Hello,” other me gives a cheery wave.

“Uh… hello?” My reply is less sure than theres’ is.

“I know you are confused,” he continues. I can’t help but wonder how he knows that I have no tangible form in here.

“I know because I am you,” he beams a smile that seems like what an alien would approximate a human smile to be—more teeth than emotion, almost like a predator eying its prey.

“Who are you really?” my words shake.

“Wowee, impressive you would be so scared of your own mind. But given what I am… I suppose it’s a given.” that same almost predatory smile shines right at me.

“So I smashed up my own mind exhibit?” other me just laughs.

“Yes, though, more because I don’t like playing second fiddle. It gets ever so lonely, only coming out to play once in a blue moon.”

His words give me pause. What is he talking about?

“Come now, surely you noticed? The blackouts? The waking up in odd places? Surely you didn’t think a few beers would do that, did you?”

I had never told anyone about those, though.

“Ok, let me set a few things straight here. I am you. You are me. That thinking in your own head isn’t really doing much.”

“So you’re another me then?”

“I’m probably the original. There’s a reason we don’t keep personal stuff in this place.” he gestures to the museum behind me.

“So what do you want then?”

“Simple. I want full control from now on. The little taste of fun I get is not nearly enough to sate my… well, my need for fun.” the predatory smile returns.

“I-I don’t understand!”

Other me just exhales a deep and exhausted sigh.

“Are you really not looking at the walls? I’m impressed. Then again, these are my contribution to this wing. On that note, I must thank you. Because you never ventured here and only knew the room layout from the map, I had a lovely blank canvas to play with.”

It is now I glance at the walls around me. The images there dozens of people. So much bloo-

I open my eyes and grab the nearest bin to empty my lunch into it.

“OH, GOD!!! Where are those images from?”

“You know where they are from,” an all too real voice next to my ear whispers.

Part 1/2

​

I am more than glad I mastered this technique when I was only a child. Nothing better than an exceptional memory to pass tests and go through life without many worries. I look up, from the pages I was memorising, at my colleague, who is looking at me intently.

“So you remember everything?” I shake my head.

“No, that’s a photographic memory. Mine is more of a trick. I Imagine a place I know well and attach bits of information to the objects there. Like for me, my memory palace is the local museum.” I close my eyes to demonstrate.

“So, in the main entrance, there's the little kiosk with pamphlets. Each pamphlet is a fact or figure. Like the pamphlet for the penguins at the local zoo has details about penguins themselves.”

I open my eyes to see my colleague nodding in amazement. They pause in thought for a moment then I can see a light shine in their eyes. Clearly, they want to see what I got there. I got used to this after Sherlock popularised the concept, and people began to realise it's not fictional.

“Ok, I know the museum, so what are the arrowheads of the picts associated with?”

I close my eyes again and wander through the museum. For each wing, I have divided it into different subjects to help navigating it even easier. So many just make it their childhood home or something. I find the arrowheads he mentions. “Ok, this one is regarding the battle of Agincourt and the fatalities and information on how it evolved warfare to be more of a range-focused system rather than a general melee.”

He looks amazed as I start to list off facts and figures the average person would have to google just to get.

“What about the Egyptian wing?”

I can’t help but smile. That is the wing where I have put the most information. I am, after all, a big Egypt nerd. So I again close my eyes and walk past the exhibits for dinosaurs, then the greeks finally coming upon…

“Huh?” my confused expression caught my colleague off guard.

“Something up?”

I, however, don’t know what to say. Looking into the room. The room I know so well is a room I have constructed with my mind. I see broken glass. Every display case has been smashed and emptied.

“What is going on?” I mutter under my breath.

“So you got Egypt facts or not?” they ask, pressing me.

“Errr… Ramses was one of the first hieroglyphs translated.” I threw out a fact I knew for them, but I was worried. What had happened? Why would I destroy my own favourite subject? It is as I gaze around the imagined room I finally see it. Large letters above the archway entrance I walked through.

“COME TO THE SERIAL KILLER EXHIBIT!” It even has a smiley face. The disturbing part is, though, it is the one section I have never been to. I find the fascination with criminals a bit iffy. But curiosity now guides my feet.

“I AM INVINCIBLE!!” The mad emperor screeches as I approach my blade at the ready.

“You’re not… I mean, look, I’ve already lobbed off your hand,” I gesture to the bloody limb on the floor.

“A simple setback with this sceptre, I shall be granted what I need, whether it be a new limb or your very demis-” I swing my sword and cut off the hand holding the accursed artifact.

“Ahhhhhh…. you… you... you.” His face has gone ashen now. Understandable, as he’s been bleeding heavily since my first strike. One would think that he would do something about it with his magic. But no, he seemed intent on monologuing.

With a final shaking of his stump at me, he collapses, clearly dying, if not already dead; with that, my duty for this job is complete. Vanquish the evil emperor and retrieve his cursed sceptre. Reaching down to pick up the sceptre, I pry his still-grasping hand free.

I can’t help but admire the thing. For all of its evil, it was truly well made. Something that’d belong in a museum of some kind. Alas, It is slated for disposal. Still, I can feel a tug at my subconscious, daring me to gaze into the large crystal atop the sceptre. I merely give a single glance, but that is enough for it to seize me.

“Ahh, sir hero… I welcome you, my new Master.” I am now in a pure white room with a figure that can only be described as pitch black. No features, nothing discernable. Only a humanoid figure made of black smoke and night sky.

“New Master?” I repeat—the figure nods.

“Indeed, sir. You have slain my previous Master, so my ownership naturally transfers over to you.”

“I see… Well, that is good; then, we don’t need to worry while I transport you for destruction.” These words send the figure into a sort of panic.

“Wait, Master, I can grant your very desires. I am, after all, a wish Demon. Tell me, Master, what is it you desire?”

“Meh, I’m ok, thanks.” I shrug off its blatant attempts at temptation.

“Surely you jest, Master. How about great riches?” As he says this, a mountain of gold appears before me. More money than I have ever seen in my entire life. More than the dragon horde I witnessed when I was just a squire. However, my answer is obvious.

“No thanks.” I wave the Demon’s offer away, and like a puff of smoke, the gold vanishes.

“May I ask why Master?” the Demon seems genuinely curious. Then again, great riches are often atop many wish lists for people.

“I am from an order of paladins. We have sworn to a life of poverty. Outside basic costs, I don’t have much need for coin. Let alone that much.” The Demon, for all its lack of features, clearly conveys how stunned it is. Rather an emotive fellow for a glorified 3D silhouette.

“Ah, yes. I see coin does not motivate you. Then perhaps all the woman you could ever want.” as before, many women, each of a beauty that would make the nymphs jealous, appeared. “Or maybe men.” with those added words, numerous men of equal beauty appear.

“Nah, no thanks, I’m asexual. Don’t feel the need.” Again the Demon is clearly stunned. Though I suppose I am a tough customer. Wealth, Lust, what next sin will he tempt me with, I wonder.

“How about ultimate power?” With these words, the images of beautiful people vanish and in their place is an image of me slaying the Demon lord. I will admit this tempted me for a moment. But once again, I shake my head.

“No thanks. I’m of the opinion strength not gained by your own hands is not real strength.”

The Demon is clearly getting frustrated with me now. Wealth, Lust Power all have failed.

“How about great fame? All heroes wish to be remembered.”

“No. My deeds, whether they live on, doesn’t matter to me, only that I have done good.” The Demon is clearly becoming more and more agitated.

“How about an empire of your own?”

“I just struck down the evil emperor on my own. Any ruler who rises up can still be cut down. It’d be the height of arrogance to think I was an exception.”

“Then… ughhh… How about an audience with your god?” His offer actually gives me pause.

“You can do such a thing?” my question is genuine.

“Indeed, Master. You need only seal the deal.” it holds out its hand. It is then I remember the rogue's old saying. A deal too good to be true almost always is.

“No thanks. I will meet him when I die. Can’t have you monkies pawing my wish now, can I?” the Demon clicks its tongue. It seems I hit the nail on the head.

“Paladin, what is it you actually want then?” the Demon gave up all pretence of temptation and decided to just outright ask. I have to admire the direct approach.

“Ok… I’ll tell you what I shall make a wish. You can fulfil anything, right?” the Demon nods, immensely pleased the conversation is going the way he likes.

“Ok, I wish the full destruction of every single Demon and devil in existence on this plane and any other. I also wish that all those with a level of evil in their hearts that would doom them to damnation have their souls banned from entry to the Demonic realms.”

The silhouette figure is frozen. Even without features, I can tell it is stunned by my wish.

“I CAN’T DO THAT!!!” Their protest is amusing to me, and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Thought you said you could do anything.”

“I have limits to my power, Master. Eliminating all my brethren is beyond my power by a magnitude. Let alone starving off all who may yet reform.”

“Then this negotiation is over. I shall take my leave, thank you.” I start walking away towards what I can make out is the edge of the room.

“Wait, I will give you everything!!! Anything but that!! You can be the greatest hero remembered throughout all time!! Your story will inspire so many more heroes.” the Demon is clearly desperate now.

“As I have previously said. I care little if my deeds are remembered. Let alone achieving such a goal with my own strength. I thank you for the offer, but I must go. This sceptre won’t purify itself now.” With these last words, I punch through the white wall and exit the mindscape.

“That was fun. Hope we can do it never again.” I say to the sceptre as I put it in my sealing bag for the trip to the temple.

for more of my stuff go to r/Random3X

"Caarrlllll! Why did you crush every human into a giant meatball?"

"I do not know what you are talking about."

"I'm talking about that giant ball of meat right there."

"Oh wow I did not see that. Must be some nasty chefs going around."

"Carl, I watched you piecing it together."

"That does not sound like something I would do."

"Carl... Oh god... Why is still moving Carl?"

"Oh, it is? The chef must've been a genius that knew of a way to keep the meat fresh by keeping it alive."

"Carl."

"Gee whiz, I can only hope to meet such a genius."

"Carl."

"I wonder if the spices have settled in, right?"

"CARRRRLLLLLLL!!!"

"Oh, yes?"

"Please tell me why Carl?"

"Why did the genius chef do this? Why he must've wanted the biggest meat lovers' pizza ever."

"Carl"

"Maybe he had a big plate of spaghetti."

"CARL!!"

"I suppose we will never know."

"Carl...I...I'm going out, Carl."

"Don't tell me you're Vegan now Paul and after I went through so much effort."