PurpleSwitch
PurpleSwitch t1_ixzsimy wrote
Reply to LPT: Instead of telling a self-conscious person that no one is ever negatively judging them, agree with them that people probably are thinking mean things about them. But tell them those people are jerks. Jerks aren't worth worrying over. by autotelica
I think this is very good advice. It reminds me of a friend who used to do what I called "conditional reassurances". He would tell me that it would be okay because we would prevail over whatever it was we were struggling against. It took me a while to understand why exactly his attempts to support me left me more depressed, but eventually it clicked for me and I told him:
"I don't need you to tell me it'll be okay because we'll win this, because you don't know that, and it's entirely possible that we will lose. I need you to tell me that it's okay regardless of whether we win, or even that it's okay despite the possibility of losing. I need to feel like my life isn't hinging on this awful thing that's out of my control and if you want to reassure me by telling me that you're here to support me, I need you to tell me that it'll be okay because we will make it through and that you will be here to help me find the path forwards."
PurpleSwitch t1_ix9j1n0 wrote
Reply to comment by AGVann in Transgender activists demand equal rights, protection in Pakistan’s ‘first’ trans rights march in Karachi, Pakistan by Arya9019slp
Thank you for this comment, it's an important perspective so I am glad you emphasised it
PurpleSwitch t1_j1a9rkt wrote
Reply to comment by Strato-Cruiser in Epistemic Trespassing: Stay in your lane mf by thenousman
I agree that it seems overly binary. I'm a biochemist who spends a lot of time debunking anti-scientitic rubbish like anti-climate change stuff, or anti vaccination rhetoric. I try my best to stay in my lane but it's difficult to gauge what counts.
My background means that I can speak more authoritatively on vaccines than on climate change, but also knowing about the development of mRNA vaccines in recent years doesn't help to dispel misinformation. Sometimes knowing more complicates things more. The challenge often is in simplifying something so that someone who isn't a scientist can follow it, and that takes a different set of skills than the biochemistry itself.
A lot of what I do is deferring to people who are experts, but that's still wielding a sort of authority over people, because it often involves TL;DRing scientific literature that they don't have the skills or experience to read, but otherwise how do I explain why they should listen to these guys as opposed to the kinds of people at sites like naturalhealthyliving dot com