“Sam, it is apparent to me that “Leo” has the majority of your attention. I fear that you are telling me you’re with Leo when you are actually meeting with another girl. I’m not going to make accusations, but I do want to discontinue our relationship so I can find one where I no longer have to question where I stand.” Or ... “My ok home died so I was going to use yours to take a pic of the cat. A text came through that shed light on your affair. I think it would be best for both of us to separate.”

I personally would take the honest approach.

Truer words never spoke

Accomplices- a guilty party

Accomplishes- completes a task.

You’re not wrong

That would be a better punchline in my opinion. SWATted or something more obviously pertaining to a police raid.

Kid? So you were looking up pedophiles? I don’t get the swatted part

I’m embarrassed that I don’t get it lol.