All the super popular contemporary novels also have men suffering abuse and dying gruesome deaths. It goes both ways.

David Foster Wallace once said, “Good fiction's job is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”

I'm one of those Malazan fans. And I'm "contemptuously sneering" at you and your fragile sensibilities. If you want the fantasy genre to conform to your "blinders on" worldview, hate to break it to you but fantasy isn't for you. Besides seems like you don't do much reading anyway.