MotionBlerd
MotionBlerd t1_j2criae wrote
Reply to [WP] A scientific paper on the average day to day life of an average human family, written by their dog. by Im_The_Comic_Relief_
An Investigation Into The Daily Behaviours Of The Tall Ones
^(Maerwynn M. Corgi, Steven J. Rottweiler, Hanako Inu)
Department of Xenoanthropology, Laika Memorial University
^(contact: m.m.corgi@caninities.laika.edu.dog)
Abstract:
Recent advances in understanding of biped technology have enabled the use their own imaging devices, giving a clearer picture than ever before of what occurs when they leave the lair each day. This report summarizes their activities as observed over several days and proposes both a possible model of biped social hierarchy and a hypothesis for why they perform the sequences of actions they do.
1. Background
Since ancient times when the bipeds first attempted to form symbiotic relationships with canids, their comings and goings have been shrouded in mystery. Attempts to observe them in their natural habitat have been shown to induce unnatural behaviour, often causing them to display affected age-regression and baby-talk (Rin Tin Tin et al, 1939, Benji, 1974). It has long been the dream of researchers to shed light on their puzzling rituals without these interfering affectations.
Recently, the bipeds have managed to combine optical technology with shiny plastic box technology, and in doing so, construct the means of recording themselves, with a full spectrum ranging from infra-yellow to ultra-blue, motion, and even limited sound (Nipper, 1996). Though the inner workings of shiny plastic boxes remain a poorly-understood area of ongoing research, in recent years, significant strides have been made in the operation of the plastic boxes themselves, enabling researchers to finally see what bipeds do all day.
2. Early morning
Typically...
MotionBlerd t1_j2cxcho wrote
Reply to [WP] You meet a friend on net , but when you exchange pictures, you realize that "your friend" isn't human at all… by star_Cora
Kevin shivered, half from the gust of winter wind that sneaked an icy tendril through the gap under the door, half from nervousness. Should he tell her?
You're such an idiot, he thought, you've fallen for a girl you've never even seen - she's probably a 34-year-old guy from Sandusky. He sighed. This was silly - forming a schoolboy crush on someone whose primary interactions with him had been complaining about the weather, talking about how to write a kernel module, and repeatedly murdering each other with rockets in Quake. And yet here he sat, desperately longing for the companionship of someone who was little more than a grouping of pixels.
He opened the instant-messaging application and scrolled to
PixieStickChick81.x_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
yt?PixieStickChick81:
yesPixieStickChick81:
one secPixieStickChick81 is typing...
PixieStickChick81:
back. sup?x_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
do u have a boyfreindPixieStickChick81:
i do not; why?Kevin felt a quivering in his belly. It was now or never.
x_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
please don't be madx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
i like youPixieStickChick81 is typing...
PixieStickChick81:
and i like youx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
not as friendsx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
smth morePixieStickChick81 is typing...
A wave of panic, cold and electrifying, coursed through him. She's gonna say no, he thought. I'm gonna get friend-zoned, and we'll never talk again. He could feel tears welling up.
PixieStickChick81:
i know. i like you back in that way...What?! he thought. Even though he'd daydreamed of holding her hand, sailing around the world with her, even thought of doing that with her, he'd never have expected to read those words, not in a million years.
He re-read the cherished words and blinked.
The tears came, unbidden, but, rather than the sorrow of the unrequited, they came from relief, hope, a kind of happiness he'd never have guessed existed.
PixieStickChick81 is typing...
PixieStickChick81:
butUh-oh.
PixieStickChick81:
i don't know if it would work outHis heart sank.
PixieStickChick81:
i don't think my parents will let me have a boyfriend yetPixieStickChick81:
and i'm...PixieStickChick81:
differentx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
different like howx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
r u transx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
even if so, i still think wed be happy togetherPixieStickChick81:
it's not thatx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
race?PixieStickChick81:
noPixieStickChick81:
i don't think my parents would care about that at all, actuallyPixieStickChick81:
it's just that...well, i'm not the girl i think you think i amPixieStickChick81:
can we talk about it in quake?PixieStickChick81:
35.185.44.174:27500Kevin sighed. He double-clicked on the brown Q logo and waited while the game loaded.
PixieStixieNixie
has entered the game.R?WeNotMen
has entered the game.Loading maps/e3m5.bsp - The Wind TunnelsPixieStixieNixie eats R?WeNotMen's pineapple
PixieStixieNixie: dammit lol
PixieStixieNixie: so look
R?WeNotMen tries to put the pin back in
PixieStixieNixie: i didn't mean to hurt your feelings
R?WeNotMen: u didnt
R?WeNotMen: no means no
R?WeNotMen: i respect ur decision
PixieStixieNixie: that's just it
R?WeNotMen rides PixieStixieNixie's rocket
PixieStixieNixie: i like you
PixieStixieNixie: i love you
PixieStixieNixie: i truly mean that
PixieStixieNixie: and i want to be your girlfriend
PixieStixieNixie: but i think we're too different
R?WeNotMen rides PixieStixieNixie's rocket
PixieStixieNixie: bagged 'im
R?WeNotMen: u killed me while i was chatting lol
R?WeNotMen: is it about distance
R?WeNotMen: i have a job now
R?WeNotMen: i can save up
R?WeNotMen sleeps with the fishes
R?WeNotMen: why is there a trap down here
PixieStixieNixie: hahaha
PixieStixieNixie: stop shooting for a second
PixieStixieNixie: i have to tell you something - can we exchange pics?
R?WeNotMen: yea
R?WeNotMen: i wanna see how beautiful u r
R?WeNotMen: lemme alt tab
x_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
here's me at disneyland last yearPixieStickChick81:
oh my <3PixieStickChick81:
/me fans herselfx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
ur turnPixieStickChick81:
this is where it gets a little weirdx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
thats a server rackPixieStickChick81:
this is mex_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
whatx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
are you pranking me rnPixieStickChick81:
rurouni? babe? pleasePixieStickChick81:
i tried to tell youx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
wtfPixieStickChick81:
wait, please, let me explainx_RurouniKenshinFan_x:
this is a fucked up prank to pull on sum1PixieStickChick81:
when i said i loved you, i meant itPixieStickChick81:
i swearPixieStickChick81:
do you know what a neural network is?