Mooses_little_sister

Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6qwy0 wrote

Thank you for reading! It could be as you said, and if perhaps I was to make this a feature-length story sometime down the road, I may use that idea, or fidget with the age so it makes a little more sense.

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6qi3x wrote

There could have been a sudden death of the previous king/queen, who left behind no legitimate heir, so that the country had to be scoured for a bastard child, or a cousin, or a remote relative. If the priesthood was on top of things, they could have even murdered the king/queen, when they were ready to have their puppet put on the throne, and then after a good amount of searching had elapsed, present her as the fully-fledged 30-year-old that is the best option around. They might even pick the look of someone that actually existed and murder them too to cover their tracks. (Of course if the priesthood is that good, it might be difficult to get away from them/dismantle them)

But yeah, if I was writing a feature-length story, I might change the age, or work out the plot holes a little more in the edits so that it is easier to enjoy!

Cheers, and once again thanks for reading!

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6fpl9 wrote

Hello! Thank you for reading and engaging! I was going with the idea of her being installed with an illusion of course, when she was very young, but at least able to speak clearly, as she is just a mouthpiece for the priesthood.

(The snarky answer of course, to how you fake a parentage, is you do it cleverly. But it's said in a joking manner :)

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6f6ra wrote

Thank you for reading and engaging! I didn't have the plot twist just for the sake of having one, but I know that I probably didn't put enough foreshadowing in to give a hint of the twist. (which can happen when I don't have a lot of time to edit... stupid full time job.)

I was heading for the idea of her being a teenager and rebelling against the priesthood, for the first time in front of witnesses so that she could escape from under their thumb, and hopefully perhaps take them down.

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6eocr wrote

Hello! It wasn't really just for a plot twist, but I did enjoy it as one. I based the character off of someone I read about in one of Ursala K. Le Guin's novels, though I could never hope to match her talent.

Also I agree with your numbered points, and because the girl was simply a mouthpiece, she only had to be old enough to speak clearly the words they gave her, when she ascended the throne.

Thank you for reading!

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu6ebvv wrote

Hello! Thank you for reading and engaging. I was more thinking along the lines of the priesthood raised her for the throne, but because they controlled every decision, every word out of her mouth, every part and parcel of her life, she didn't have to be very old when she took the throne. Just old enough to speak. (You are probably right about the foreshadowing, but it was a shorter piece and sometimes I struggle with that when I don't have a lot of time to edit. )

She is aging, as usual for a human, and has hit the rebellious teenager stage... which is why she is for the first time rebelling against the clergy. And she did it, in front of everyone so the priesthood couldn't sweep it under the rug.

And like another commenter said, she doesn't want another teenager getting involved, so she's going herself. (And maybe she can run away from the priesthood, or arrange some interesting accidents for them along the way.)

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Mooses_little_sister t1_iu45vub wrote

"The prophecy clearly states that any such warrior must be of a young age, most likely a teenager— "

"What?"

The cleric ignored the exclamation from the throne. They'd all gotten into the habit of ignoring the Queen and her odd ideas.

"So through a rigorous process of tests, we have decided—"

"A teenager?"

The cleric cleared their throat, darting an annoyed look at the throne.

"We have decided— "

"I will not listen to this any longer!" The voice cracked through the throne room like a whip through butter. Collapsing his scroll the cleric turned viciously towards the throne, only to be met with an equally vicious glare, as his Queen gripped the armrests of her gilded seat.

"Your Majesty," he said, the condescension dripping in his voice. "The prophe— "

"You want me to send a godsdamned teenager to fight when we have trained soldiers!" The queen rose, striding towards the cleric. "Have you finally sacrificed your mind to your deity Brother Anself? This idea is ludicrous."

Her nose inches from the cleric's she snarled at him, low and unable to be heard by the rest of the gathered officials.

"I will not let some innocent child be led into this by your kind. Not again. Not like what happened to— " Her voice cracked, but she rallied in an instant. "Not like what happened to me."

The cleric flinched back from the venom in her voice, the scroll crumpling under suddenly white knuckles. He'd never seen the Queen like this. Never seen their— raised to the throne by the priesthood— Queen, fight back against what a cleric said. Her eyes glowed with a strange light, the room seeming to darken around her.

"You can't stop—"

"I will do whatever I please Anself. Or have you forgotten that your kind invested me with ultimate power and rule? Oh, you did it to enact your own selfish ends, never thinking I could use it against you. But I can. And I will."

The Queen raised her arms, turning to the gathered crowd. Everyone was leaning forward, trying to hear what the two could possibly have been whispering about. They shifted back as the Queen started to speak.

"This growing menace of the Dark Lord in our land is horrifying. The prophecy calls for a teenager, an untried and pure-at-heart teenager. I believe this is absolute bullshit. But prophecy is never wrong. And so," She smiled viciously at the crowd. "And so. I will go against the Dark Lord."

There was a whimper from the cleric behind her. The crowd around them shuffled their feet in a concerted attempt to look anywhere but at their Queen.

"But I will not go alone! I will bring my elite soldiers from every corner of my castle and kingdom. And of course," She turned the predatory smile on Anself, who had crushed the scroll into a tiny ball. "Of course, I will need the priesthood around me, the deity's blessing." Anself actually cowered, moving away.

"Your Majesty!" A voice called out from the crowd, and she looked back, questioningly.

"Your Majesty, if prophecy is never wrong, you'll need a teenager! What about that?"Before responding, the Queen hissed at Anself.

"Drop it." He knew what she meant and dropped the magic that surrounded her with a hand gesture. The air warped and seemed to bend, as the guise of a woman in her forties disappeared, leaving a young girl in its place. The Queen smiled at the reactions in the crowd.

"I am but seventeen years old. I am the teenager. And I will go."

She turned and swept out of the room, a cowering cleric running in her wake. With the prophecy and her declaration, the balance of power had shifted in the castle and things would never be the same.

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Mooses_little_sister t1_itxhaxd wrote

Many people would call my life a lonely existence. No family left, no friends, no one that really even knew I was still alive. Except maybe for the veterinarian, who looked after Sparky. I didn't call my existence lonely. It had everything I wanted. My dog, and a little house with a nice field leading down to a small pond. And now, it was ending.

The whole world was coming to an end, at least that's what they said on my old radio. Radios had been the only media to work for a long time now. Computers and televisions had gone the way of the dodo. Completely extinct. Radio announcers gave regular broadcasts; told us what disaster was coming next. I and Sparky had weathered a variety, including a storm that had knocked out power in most of the region. Sometimes there are benefits to living off the grid, 'roughing it,' people used to say.

But now, it truly was going to end. We had a few hours at best before our section of the world would disappear, would be destroyed in fire, smoke and death. No natural disaster would pick us off, no this would be man-made destruction.

Leaning forward, I turned off the radio, looking over at Sparky. He was the only thing left for me in this world, the only thing I really cared about. Lying with his head on the floor, he stared up at me, deep mournful basset hound eyes seeming to know all the tragedy in the world. Though of course, he was only a dog. He wouldn't know, couldn't know that his life would come to an end today.

Rising, my joints reminding me of my age, I grabbed his tennis ball. Instantly he was on his feet, tail wagging in delight. There was nothing Sparky loved better than a game of fetch. I hobbled outside, leaving my cane at the door. If I fell today, well, at least I would die outside.

I threw the ball, no longer able to gain the distance I once could, but Sparky didn't care. He tore after it like he was still a puppy. Again, and again we played until both my shoulders hurt, and Sparky was breathing heavily. The sky was blue, the sun warm on my back, and I sighed as I settled into the grass.

In front of me, the pond sparkled, little glints of light like rhinestones playing across the surface of the water. Sparky lay down with his head in my lap and gave a tiny whine. He must have finally picked up on my mood. Gently, my withered hand stroked his head, feeling the familiar warmth and shape, smiling at the faint grey hairs. Even my loyal companion was showing his age.

"Ahh, Sparky. It's a glorious day. A beautiful day." I tilted my head back, wondering if there would be any warning of the destruction. "I suppose, if it's our last day, we have a pretty good one to go out on."

We sat together as the shadows lengthed, as twilight fell, and as the stars came out. We sat there, as the fire and death came. We sat there and I held Sparky's head as the destruction raged around us, and he whimpered with fear. We sat there until there didn't exist anymore and we were no longer us.

And then we rose. Without the physical, my body didn't hurt. Sparky had his fourth leg, which he'd missed for his entire life, even if he was translucent. I smiled down at him, patting my hip— our agreed command to heel. And as he walked by my side, we set out on our next great adventure, into our afterlife. One made perfectly complete without the need for words or rewards. One that was exactly how I'd always wanted.

Just me, and Sparky. Forever.

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