LurkethInTheMurketh

LurkethInTheMurketh t1_ixf2xjx wrote

Have you considered the possibility that that moment of happiness before you die is based entirely on your believing this is the only way to experience happiness? From the way you described it, it sounds like you eventually convince him to kill you in order to bring this to pass. The emphasis on this end as being your goal will create a fatal lust for result. I wouldn’t be surprised if you became desperate for it if you make it a focus of your life as you are.

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