You don't have to be an ass about it, you know what OP meant

I know this is such a cliched answer but I wouldn't be doing my due diligence if I didn't lead with it: have you looked into therapy?

You're dealing with multiple issues that would really benefit from some professional guidance from a mental health professional. You've experienced the undeniably challenging battle of gender dysphoria and transition, which not many users on here will be able to truly understand. That, coupled with the jealousy and paranoia is very difficult to deal with, I imagine.

I'm in BPD recovery so I'm not stranger to intrusive paranoid thoughts. Sometimes I'd be in so much distress that my brain will keeping telling me "everyone hates you" when my eyes and ears can see that's COMPLETELY untrue. Verbal affirmations really, really, helped me through that. I write down the things I know to be true, irrespective of my feelings. I meditate and repeat them and it allows myself to battle the part of my brain that's messing with me. I hope that helps.