If youre looking for government asset auctions, check out govdeals theres some cool shit to be had(you can buy TSA Confiscated knives)

What condition is the pool in?

Not sure if the routers they use are junk but i have fios and the wireless connection is junk(buffering and stuttering while next to it), but the wired connection doesnt stutter at all, maybe try a 3rd party router? It would also save you the router rental fee from xfinity/fios

The halo cuties brand never disappoints me, im not familiar with grocery stores in DC to know where they would be sold, i just do a majority of my work there😅