Kilr_Kowalski
Kilr_Kowalski t1_iyci84p wrote
Reply to comment by AficionadoOfBoop in LPT request: How to deal with ambivalent feelings towards someone? by AficionadoOfBoop
It is entitled and unfair because, as you admit, you are not emotionally mature enough for the relationship (If that is the case).
One last thing- I think of these things like crossing the Rubicon. Once a breakup occurs, things will always be different.
Kilr_Kowalski t1_iychqnj wrote
Reply to comment by AficionadoOfBoop in LPT request: How to deal with ambivalent feelings towards someone? by AficionadoOfBoop
but for this relationship it has either ended because you should have ended it or because you shouldn't have.
Either way means that you should not be the one to undo this.
The first because it is the wrong move and the second because your malfunction is not repaired enough to be a fair partner to the person that you ran from.
Kilr_Kowalski t1_iycgz71 wrote
I mean, why can't you just "not feel it"?
Kilr_Kowalski t1_isun4bp wrote
Reply to LPT: Show up to your medical appointment 20-30 minutes early if you have an important event soon after your appointment. by Vern119
Doctors don’t sit around waiting to see patients. Something always has to give when this compromise is made and the first thing is the request/early presence is a distraction from concentration.
Concentration is one of the most important aspects of technical roles, and therefore this suggestion is entitled, damaging and, in my experience, downright incorrect.
Kilr_Kowalski t1_jec5juw wrote
Reply to Is my marriage over ? 31M/29F by [deleted]
Your wife is being unfair to your emotions and the relationship is unequal, no, I change my mind, it is bad.
Sexual intimacy is a bit of a trap. Often I have seen that women need emotional intimacy before sexual intimacy and men need it the other way around. One way or another you are getting neither from her, so just ignore that you aren't getting laid because worrying about that will not help.
I do believe that confrontation is in order but be smart about it. Get a referral to a psychologist who is trained in Family Therapy. Organise a baby sitter. Book the appointment and invite your partner but let her know that you will be attending one way or the other.
Look the rest will come about as it is destined to do but make sure that you have done your best for what you want (it sounds like you want a better relationship with her rather than to break up).
If you do your best and it still fails then you will still need therapy so that you can continue to work on a shared parenting, and what kind of parent you are going to be.