KeeperofAmmut7

KeeperofAmmut7 t1_je33c24 wrote

Reply to comment by NateCow in LPT: How to support someone grieving: the process is not linear and often takes longer than people think (even, and sometimes especially, when the relationship with the deceased was painful or estranged). A year may seem like a long time since a death, but to the grieving, it can feel very recent. by survivalothefittest

>The thing I told him is that it doesn't get "easier." You just get used to it.

Deffo. I feel guilty that I was relieved that I didn't hafta wait up until he decided to come to be, because I hadta walk behind him and help him up the stairs because his knee would go out. Too many times he started to fall and I got body slammed into the front door, or had to move his feet closer onto the step so he could get balance.

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KeeperofAmmut7 t1_je32s2r wrote

Reply to LPT: How to support someone grieving: the process is not linear and often takes longer than people think (even, and sometimes especially, when the relationship with the deceased was painful or estranged). A year may seem like a long time since a death, but to the grieving, it can feel very recent. by survivalothefittest

Well said.

I already have ads in my spam folder for Russian Women, 50+, Sugar babies...LOL My hubby of almost 35 years has been dead for a little over a month from a massive stroke. I was spending the nights at the hospital by his side, holding his hand, watching TV with him. He died with me holding his hand.

To be honest, I have up days and down days. Seeing someone I haven't seen in a while and having to tell them while trying not to break down was so damned hard, especially when he started to fill up.

The most innocuous comment can start the waterworks.

I work at a wrinkle city and I've seen how grief is such a bloody big dipper for the folks and each one is different. Some are like woohoo freedom. Others are so very sad since they've been made alone. I'm still stuck with paperwork and phone calls. I haven't even started the taxes yet. I haven't even really had any time for grieving. My boss said to take all the time I need, but then wanted me back by a certain date because she didn't want to do my job and my coworker was on vacation.

The best thing you can do is call and check in, give hugs, make meals ( I kept the local greasy spoons in the black for a month) clean up (my bestie helped me do this)

I just got a thing in the mail saying that one of his investments is changing brokers. I have no idea wtf to do with it. Can't ask him...and am clueless atm. It's already going into the not now pile.

See if a friend can help you get bills sorted. I mislaid 4 that were right in front of my face.

Sorry about the OT sorta rant.

I can just say that if you feel like screaming, do so. Crying, do that too. It's rough. One day to the next, one second to the next, you'll feel something or even nothing at all. I just feel right now that if I cry, I won't stop and I'll be like Odo in his bucket. I remember what a character in one of my stories told herself. "You don't have the time for that now, you have too much other shite to deal with."

When I get all this shite sorted, I'm gonna find a place where you can smash dishes with a baseball bat, or an axe throwing place, and go wild.

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