You’re comment about being afraid to date someone I think can often happen if you view that partner as a sex object or want them too badly, like everything in your life is riding on this one date. Instead, connect with their mind and pretend it’s the last time you’ll ever see them, and forget about your desires.

I get what you’re saying. I interpret what OP is saying is that you bring your emotional baggage with you into a relationship so that if you’re generally a shitty person alone then having a partner isn’t going to make you any better unless the relationship makes you want to change, and you can genuinely do it.