The real trick is to be declared incompetent to be held responsible for past actions in a court of law and simultaneously be declared as the most competent person to be the future leader of the free world in the halls of Congress.

As opposed to private healthcare like in America?

Engineer: this road is in bad shape. Here is what materials and actions we need to fix it.

Insurance: denied, your customer's insurance plan does not cover that.

Engineer: what? Excuse me, may I see your engineering degree that says you can tell me how to do my job?

Insurance: don't need it. We're just telling you, it's not structurally necessary.

Engineer: by what do you base that?

Insurance: because it would not be profitable for us.

Edit round 2!

Engineer: we were unsure if there are underground utilities where I want to dig. Ignoring this possibility could be disastrous, so I ordered a consult with a specialist to look for underground utilities. The dig site is clear.

Insurance: so they found no utilities?

Engineer: correct.

Insurance: so the test was not necessary. Coverage denied.

No, it's a Clint Eastwood joke

King of flaaaaaavor!

I'm a locksmith...and I'm a locksmith.

Oh wait wrong joke

You wait, robots.

Your manual says change filter A every 500 hours, change tubing B every 1000 hours, replace pump motor C every 10,000 hours?

Nah. Do more with less, we can't afford the downtime to be changing filters.

>doing more with les

And this is why Les is overworked and stressed out.

For detecting, not committing. Sheesh.

That was only true for nickel cadmium chemistry.

Fun fact: for lead acid chemistry (car batteries), it's the other way around: deep discharging damages them.

Hey bigfops, littlefops just up and quit so we're gonna need you to cover his shifts.

Hey bigfops, middlefops also just quit, we're gonna need you to cover his shifts.

Hey bigfops, corporate just announced their latest mandatory SOP change, shitcan everything you know about doing your job and join this zoom meeting about the new rollout that goes live today.

Hey bigfops, we gotta schedule a meeting about how deadlines aren't being met.

Radar works by transmitting and observing the reflections of radio waves. Which are electromagnetic waves not unlike visible light, except in a different frequency, so we can use a visible light metaphor.

Imagine you are in the middle of a vast open field, and it's the middle of the night: there is no ambient light. But you have been equipped with a powerful flashlight, which you can point in any direction you like. You are also equipped with a partner we'll call Sam. Sam will go where you point if you command him to, and he's a very fast runner, but it takes him a few second

There are five enemies out there. Their job is to tag you out, but they lose if Sam tags them first.

Assassin 1 is vastly obese and is wearing a cheap white shirt. You spot him easily and Sam tags him out: he has an immense cross section.

Assassin 2 is just as obese but is wearing all black. Your flashlight does not reflect off him as well, but as he is such a large and slow moving target you have no problem seeing him in time to send Sam after him. His physical cross section is the same but his visual cross section is far less.

Assassin 3 is very athletic- not as fast as Sam, but damn fast. Still didn't pay attention to his wardrobe, though: his white shirt gives him more than enough cross section for you to see him and Sam to run him down before he reaches you.

Assassin 4 is like 3 but wearing all black. You barely spot him in time.

Assassin 5 came prepared. He spent a lot of time, money, and effort to camouflage himself. He can't change his physical cross section, but visually, you can't detect him because none of the light from your flashlight is returning to the detector-your eyes- in a way you recognize as a meaningful object.

Bug soft, so it splats. A pebble at 90 mph WILL crack your windshield, or dent your fender.

Force equals mass times velocity SQUARED: velocity means more to force than mass, so if you have a very high velocity, a very small mass carries a lot of force.

Word correction: should have said energy, not force.

Edison: I made something!

Tesla: I could make it better.

Edison: Bet ya 50 large you can't.

Tesla: I made it better.

Edison: yoink

Tesla: Where's my 50 grand?

Edison: It was just a joke, bro!

the joys of being self employed.

someone shoop the Balrog in place of the diamonds

And hair

like Roko's Basilisk

you just lost The Game?

I'm sorry did you mean Marty McFly?

you all are now imagining Porky Pig porking.

that's what really makes the story.

David refusing the king's armor, knowing it would just slow him down and make him unable to stay out of reach of that massive sword. I mean did he really take the field buck naked as his famous statue would imply? Probably not, but neither would he be in a stranger's clothes.

David having the skills to find the perfect ammo, and having the skills to execute a boom, headshot!

Goliath being stupid enough or blind enough to think he was being approached by David bearing "sticks", not a sling, even though his side would surely know what a slinger was.

ok so...where is your other earbud?

Yes of course he does, it's the other tall, bald, humanoid alien that can't be remembered.

which of course is way too late, like ignoring the cut on your foot until the gangrene makes it hard to even hobble

A druid wouldn't touch that.

Now, the wooden stock and foregrip of the M1 Garand, now we're talking.