Have you considered that maybe a relationship isn't the right thing for him right now? Sounds like he needs some serious support and help from a professional to process everything that happened before he'll be ready to be with someone.

So in short it's some bullshit made up for use by a tiny minority within a minority, that nobody here understands or cares for. Just use they/them.

Your dream job is a sales job..?

Why is it cropped and rotated? Absolutely minimal effort post, downvoted.

That doesn't sound like a TIFU to me, that sounds like you got spiked and raped. Keep the jacket in a plastic bag somewhere safe as there may be evidence in or on it. Check in with your friends and ask them to go through your night step by step - who they saw you with, where you went, the state you were in, who you left with etc. One person might not have all the answers but you should be able to piece it together from different chunks.

Your phone may also have your location history to show where you were and at what time - for Android you can find it in Google Maps, for iPhone I'm not sure but it very likely has the same info somewhere.

Check for photos taken on your phone or by friends - you might recognise someone and remember something.

Other than that do not shower, drink shit loads of straight water and go to a hospital ASAP. They'll draw some blood and test for drugs commonly used in this scenario and pull DNA where appropriate. This could help massively as evidence.

Regardless of how you feel about it, you don't remember the night & would have been in a state where you couldn't consent. Even if you gave the dude a resounding YES PLEASE or initiated, it shouldn't have happened.

Fuck it, you're barely communicating with her as it is and you're stringing along your pain. Tell her about your journey, tell her you've realised what you actually want. Preempt it with understanding that she may not want to maintain contact and that her fiancé isn't comfortable with you being friends. Tell her you're sorry and exactly how you feel, then drop the bomb.

Like you say, two possible outcomes most likely - either you nail it and she feels the same which is a win for you, or she accepts/appreciates it but is happy with the other dude and you part ways. You'll feel better for finally telling her and if it doesn't work out, you can move on without being reminded about her all the time.

This is a selfish way to do things but at this point can you really see you staying friends considering her fiancé is already uncomfortable with you being in contact with her?

That's not a healthy attitude to have man. Can't go through life thinking about all the worst case scenarios and it's not fair to tar every woman with the same brush because of one experience.

Yes something shitty happened to me but you have to look at it from both sides. She just thought I was drunk and trying it on with her close friend in front of her. I didn't and don't blame her for thinking the worst, but we spoke about it and she listened to me. That's what matters.

It's all good! Really shit at the time & took me a couple months to fully understand it but realised it was never my fault, nor something I really had control over. You were in a similar position from the sounds of it, so don't blame yourself or for any of the fallout that comes from it.

Something similar happened to me shortly after meeting my ex. We'd been seeing each other for 2 months at this point. She had a small group of 3 friends she used to go on nights out with - 2 guys and a girl. None of them had slept together but she'd kissed one of the guys ages ago & it turns out he had a thing for her. Didn't discover that until after all this.

In short, we went to this guys place for pre drinks and pizza. All good, feeling good and we go out. 2 bars through and 5-6 drinks in for me, we go to a club but me and him are walking ahead of the others. We get into the club and he buys me a drink.

After that I was apparently dancing with the other girl closely while he was there with her telling her how bad I was for her and how he'd never do that to her. I remember bits and pieces, her taking me to the women's toilets because she needed a wee and didn't want to leave me alone because of the state I was in. Ended up throwing up loads in there before she took me out and we got a cab back to this guys place as a group. Threw up a bunch more throughout the night and woke up feeling like death warmed up and no memory of anything past entering the club and him getting us a drink.

Her friend was driving me and her home and it was the coldest, quietest ride I've ever had. I was clueless so was asking what was wrong, if they were just hungover etc and nobody said a word. She told me what I'd done when we got back and was close to breaking up with me.

She told me about this guy and what he was saying while I was dancing with her friend. I asked her if he was big into drugs or anything dodgy because it didn't feel right that I'd be so drink after so few drinks - she even said it was bizarre because she'd had the same amount of drinks as me up until the club and was a lot smaller than me, but was still fully aware of what she was doing. She said he does all sorts - Mcat, coke, MDMA, ketamine, whatever. It all kinda clicked because like you, OP, I knew my limits and I was barely tipsy before we went into the club. The only drink I had all night without her there or one of us watching it on our table was with him.

After taking some time on her own to think, she suspected he'd drugged me to win her over and show that he was better than other guys for her. Dude was hounding her to meet up while we took a break. She was initially heartbroken when she saw me dancing with her friend & he was holding her back, but when she saw the state I was in when I came back to the table she recognised I was completely out of it and took care of me.

Stayed together 4 and a half years after that, then she cheated on me in our home during lockdown lmao.

In short, all you can do is ask her if that's the person she knows you to be (drunk any other time or sober), apologise profusely and ask her to sit down and walk through the night with you - when did you leave drinks unattended, when did your behaviour change etc. She might put 2 and 2 together for something you don't remember and this will both help you understand what happened to you as well as maybe clear things up with her.

Regardless, I'd apologise to anyone that you upset separately for anything you said. Don't blame it on being drugged as you don't have any proof, just take the L for now. Your GF will tell them what you talk about separately and hopefully they'll understand. Good luck.