You're still right, though...it wasn't a spider. Hope your ass starts to feel better!

Since they way I broke it was like a falling motion and me catching myself with my hand and thumb snapping backwards, I told my mom I tripped on the uneven sidewalk (I had gone out with friends the day before, so had "witnesses") and didn't go get it looked at for a couple days when ice wasn't working and the bruising was spreading. And since the story was plausible the orthopedic surgeon also believed me how it happened 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not trying to one up, but to ease your worry, I promise your wife finds it amusing. A laughable sexy time story is always fun, even if it has an injury tied to it. I broke my thumb in 3 places during sexy time when I was younger. Had to have surgery and wire my bones back together and was in a cast then had physical therapy. I never once was mad at the incident. It was fun 🤷🏼‍♀️ 21 years later, I don't remember the dude's name but if someone sees my scar and asks I still laugh and ask them if they want the real story or what I told my mother.